Good Bye Sunshine, Hello Hy Vee

So, Hy Vee has purchased three stores in Sioux Falls and plans to close one and convert the other two to Hy Vee stores in the near future. Yikes.

I hate to see this kind of thing happen, because in the end it is going to affect the choices grocery shoppers have every day. With this move, there will only be two major grocery retailers in Sioux Falls: Hy Vee and Walmart. (Don't even get me started on Walmart.) Sure, there will be other small, independent grocers like Andy's and Franklin Food Mart, and specialty stores like Look's, Cleaver's, and even The Market on Phillips. Even though some people enjoy grocery shopping and will seek out certain products from certain places- steaks from one place, wine from another, fresh vegetables from the Farmer's Market- for a whole lot of people going to the grocery store is a real chore and a large expense, so if it can be done in one fell swoop, all the better. And, at some point, almost every consumer has to stop for something at one of the big grocers.

Hy Vee tends to drive me nuts. I am often astonished by the poor quality of produce at 26th and Sycamore, assuming they even have what I wanted in the first place. I've been confronted with pricing on fruit that could have easily formed the basis of a math problem on the SAT. The bakery bread selection sucks unless all you want is soft wheat or white formed into different shapes. The meat pricing at Hy Vee is an absolute sham- I nearly stroke out while I stand at the meat case running the numbers in my head. Seriously, it's a screw job. But, glutton for punsishment that I am, I keep shopping there. It also turns out that the Secret Teaspoon is a member of a local sports team that takes advantage of scrip programs to help fund the activity, so a part of our purchases at Hy Vee are credited toward our tab with the team.

The thing I don't think a lot of people realize about Hy Vee is how deftly they have been able to remove some barriers to their business model. For instance, there used to be a limit to how many retail off sale liquor licenses a corporate entity like Nash Finch or Hy Vee could hold. The South Dakota Legislature passed a bill to revise that limit. That's why you see huge liquor departments in every major grocery retailer these days. When the bill was making its way through the Legislature, it was referred to as the Hy Vee bill. See the connection? Remember when you could only buy beer on Sundays? That was a city ordinance, and a dumb one at that, but who do you think led the charge to get that one changed?

Sunshine isn't exactly a grocery palace itself, but they did several things better than Hy Vee. Honest meat that isn't sealed in little portable gas chambers priced in a straight-forward manner comes to mind. Sunshine also has some sales and specials, including Milk Mondays. that we usually took advantage of. The bottom line was, at least with Sunshine, you had an option. Now, not so much.

The loser here is the consumer because Hy Vee will be the dominant grocery retailer in the area. If you think you can't get decent produce at 26th and Sycamore now, just wait until they know that your options are to go to Hy Vee on E 10th, Minnesota, or 57th and Cliff. Good luck with that. And good luck seeing a major competitor come in and try to muscle into the market in the near future.

I might just have to swing into Andy's one of these days. I wonder if we can get Andy's on the scrip program?

Wine Pricing at Restaurants

As a follow-up on the corkage fee discussion, I thought it might be time to discuss wine pricing at restaurants. Anyone who is familiar with retail wine prices should have a pretty good feeling for the markup of the price of a bottle of wine when you get that bottle at a restaurant as opposed to a retailer. It can literally be a factor of 1.5 to 2, or even a skosh more. At first blush, this seems a little excessive, but a little logic explains why this is necessary. It takes time, money, and space (all critical to any business) to procure, properly store, and serve wines in a restaurant setting. Even though the price of a bottle may be two or more times what you might pay at your local wine shop, I doubt most restaurants are raking in the cash selling wines.

The bottom line is that wine can be a spendy accompaniment to a meal when dining out. You are going to pay more. Get used to it. It's a fact of life. The real question is how do you recognize a value and how do you decide some particular price is just too high? Granted, it's not easy, and you will most definitely pay your share of "tuition" to become somewhat comfortable in the area. But, it is not as daunting as it seems.

• Get familiar with wine prices in your area. Next time you run down to your retailer of choice, take your time and explore the shop. Look carefully at what is available and make note of the prices. In South Dakota, our "three tier" alcohol distribution system esentially means that certain distributors have dibs on certain wines. Accordingly, one would expect that the veritable monopoly this creates means that prices of a certain wine from the distributor to the retailer remain identical across the board. Not necessarily. Some retailers get deals- maybe based on volume, maybe based on relationships- there is not always rhyme or reason to this. Needless to say, though, retail prices can vary. The only way to get a feel for those prices is to get out and check them out. Take notes if that would help.

• Once you have a feel for the retail price of wines, you can start to benchmark them against prices at various restaurants. My advice is to find a couple particular wines to use for comparisons. For example, you might know that J. Lohr Paso Robles Cabernet Sauvignon goes for about $18 bucks a bottle at most retailers. If you see it for $40 on a wine list, you can get an idea of the markup. If you notice it for $35 somewhere else, file that away into your data base.

• Study, study, study. This is a touchy subject for me. Although knowledge of wines is power, too little is dangerous and too much can either vapor lock you or turn you into the worst kind of wine snob. Personally, I think you need to be familiar with varietals, appelation, and vintage. Older wines are not necessarily better wines. It all depends. Some years are better than others for certain varietals, but that can vary by location (appelation). If you aren't reading or talking to people, you might not know why, say 2005 was better for Sonoma cabs than 2007. If you aren't personally wired into the industry, you are going to have to read to keep up on this stuff. It can pay off, though, because sometimes local restaurants and servers aren't paying attention to vintages. You order the Seghesio Old Vine Zinfandel, that's what comes out- but you might get a superior vintage, if you know what years you are dealing with. Don't be afraid to point out to your server that you were hoping to get the 2004 instead of the 2005. Nevertheless, too much knowledge can be a bad thing. Easily, one of the most annoying things I encounter in the wine world is the seeming ability of some people to memorize and rattle off the Wine Spectator or Robert Parker ratings for myriad wines. Look, if you can't consistently distinguish a wine rated 95 from a similar wine rated 85 in a blind tasting, just shut the hell up. Ratings have a place, and can be very helpful, but they are not and should not be the bellweather for selecting and distinguishing one wine from another. Only your own palate can do that for you.

• Make friends with the "wine person." At most of the snazzier restaurants here in town, there is someone wandering around there that knows a whole lot about the wines on the list. He or she probably selected most of them for specific reasons. Don't be afraid to talk to this person and definitely don't be afraid to be very frank about what you want. Although restaurants are in the business of making sales, they also want you to leave happy and to come back. Tell the wine person what you are considering for entrees, what your likes and dislikes are, whether you are particularly interested in a certain appelation or varietal and what you are looking to spend. Please don't be afraid to ask about the values on the list. A good sommelier will point out wines that are drinking beyond their price.

• Oddly enough, the more expensive the wine, chances are the less steep the markup. It's a little odd, but it's true. For instance, you might notice wines that you can buy for $10-12 on a list for around $25-30-- think Black Opal, Fisheye, Yellow Tail, etc. More expensive wines are not going get that kind of treatment. An example I have noticed right here in Sioux Falls are some of the Jessup Cellars wines. A bottle of Jessup Zin retails for about $40. You won't find that wine on any wine list in town for $80-90. You might even find it somewhere for about $50.

Get out there and check it out.

Corkage Porkage?

I was reading reviews on urbanspoon the other day and noticed a comment by someone regarding the $25 corkage fee charged by Parker's. Needless to say, the writer thought the fee was utterly uncalled for, excessive, and greedy. Hmmmmm. I'm not sure if the writer was implying that any amount was too much or just that $25 was too forking high.

It's an interesting topic, though.

For those who have no idea what a corkage fee is, it's a charge made by restaurants for the privilege of opening a bottle of wine that has been brought along with the diner. This is not to be confused with restaurants that are literally BYOB. (There are none of these I know of in Sioux Falls, but I am familiar with several in Chicago. Great places and you are free to drink on the premises. You just have to bring it along.) Corkage fees can vary. A lot.

So, let's address the first question: Is a corkage fee fair in the first place? You bet your sweet bippy it is! It's a restaurant for crying out loud. You know? A place that serves food, and often offers various beverages, often including cocktails, beers, soft drinks, and wine-- for money? They prepare and serve all this in a hopefully warm and tasteful atmosphere, staffed by knowledgeable, appreciative, and professional persons. In terms of wine, they have hopefully stocked a cellar with thoughtful selections ideally designed to compliment the food they serve. If they have really done a stellar job with the wines, they have a range of styles to suit individual tastes and have a few very special selections to suit individual passions. Someone had to figure all that out, and then the establishment had to lay out the ca-ching to stock the cellar. And, don't forget all the other things today's diners and winers demand- professional staff that knows how to present and open a bottle and good glassware that is appropriate for the wine. (Think Reidel.) All this takes money, all of which goes into the cost of the bottle of wine you order.

Bringing in a bottle of wine is akin to walking into a restaurant with a meal cooked at home, or take-out from another place, and asking for plates and flatware so you can eat it at the restaurant. Seriously. Think about it. These places aren't in business to provide ambiance for free. Actually, we have places like that here in Sioux Falls- they are called parks. Restaurants deserve to make an honest buck. They are going to make something when a patron orders a bottle of wine, or a beer, or a Diet Coke, or a steak. If you bring in your own, the restaurant has to bring you glasses you might break, and that have to be bussed and cleaned. The owners get the risk without any reward. If you think you should get this for free, there is something wrong with you. And, think of this, a private business owner would be well within his or her rights to tell you to put that bottle of 1945 Lafitte back in the Hy Vee bag you brought it in, because you ain't gonna open it here.

So, what is an honest buck? Good question. It's obviously in the eye of the beholder. In reality, it probably depends on the general expense level of the particular restaurant you are visiting. If they don't offer wine at all, you might catch a heck of a break on the corkage fee. If the list trends to the high end- mostly in the three digits and several in the four (or even five) digit range, don't expect a $25 corkage fee. A fee that is more or less in line with a moderate purchase is probably about right.

Tips to avoid corkage problems, and perhaps avoid one. Yes, here it is, the bullet point list of various tips and suggestions in no particular order:

• Avoid an unpleasant surprise- call ahead. Corkage fees are not always prominently placed on the menu. Bringing in your own bottle(s) might not be allowed at all. Better to know ahead of time and be prepared.

• BYOB sparingly, and only for special wines. What is a special wine? Easy. If you can buy it at Hy Vee, it probably isn't all that special. A special bottle purchased at a winery on that last trip to Napa- a wine that isn't available in SD, would probably qualify. The bottle of 1996 Dom Perignon given as a wedding gift by your inlaws is probably a winner. A truly rare vintage, lovingly stored, is probably in this category. 1995 Screaming Eagle Cab? You betcha.

• If you are bringing in a wine that is generally available locally, but not on the list, suggest the restaurant add it. Hell, even if it's not generally available, ask. Restaurants and retailers usually have great connections with their distributors and, believe it or not, it is possible to get new wines into the state.

• Offer your servers/owners/wine person a little snoot of your special treasure. They might appreciate it enough to waive a fee or two. You don't need to get half the house tipsy. Just be thoughtful and gracious.

• Don't be a snob about your juice. Jerks are a lot easier to treat unreasonably. Even if it is a 1945 Bordeaux en magnum, it's wine, not water from the fountain of youth or Love Potion Number 9. If you brought it in to make a production and have everyone wonder what you've got and wish they were you, your priorities are out of whack.

A Few Reasons Why The Attic Is A Great Place

The Attic, located on the eastside at 41st and Sycamore is coming up on its second year anniversay. I can barely wait for the Second Annual Jackass Roundup!

The Attic has been a great addition to the eastside, which was facing a serious watering hole deficit after Boomer's closed. Major bummer. I still miss Boomer's. Making a quick run to Hy Vee for "groceries" just hasn't been the same since. I guess there is always Cherry Creek and Dean-Os, but the Attic offers a less-restauranty feel than Cherry Creek and more than a video lottery joint feel that Dean-Os. Its also bigger than Stubbies, which, ironically, is kind of a family bar. (I'm not kidding- check the place out on any Friday night during youth football season.)

So, what's good about the Attic? Let's run down a few points.

• Fairly nice atmosphere. The inside of the Attic isn't the Polo Club, but then it isn't like a concrete bunker (Lie-brary), either. The decor is meant to look like, well, an Attic, I guess. The walls are dark and done in numerous different textures. If you are thinking about going funky finish on some walls in your house, come check it out. There are open beams and dyed concrete floors with impressions of tools and other interesting items. Hanging from the ceiling are a few remnants of holiday decorations ranging from one remaining Christmas tree to some Halloween decorations. You have to check the place out during the holidays and see the Christmas trees hanging upside down from the ceiling. It's really kind of cool. The Attic also tries to divide the place, literally right down the middle, between more-sit down tables and the higher ones generally found in sports-bar type places. Arguably, if you are inclined to bring the kids, and plenty of people do, you can sit at a more restaurant-like table than a bar-like table. There is even an outdoor patio area.

• Good food. The Attic has a great selection of bar food fare, accented with some more sit-down kind of offerings like steaks or pork chops. On the menu, you will find plenty of appetizer selections including chislic (good stuff) and a platter of nachos that would feed a family of 8. In addition to burgers (which are really good when you need that Jimmy Buffet fix) there are also fairly creative and original sandwiches. One interesting item on the former menu was the Prairie Chicken- a piece of fry bread (think Indian taco) topped with sliced grilled chicken breast, lettuce, ranch sauce, and guacamole. On the new menu there is a sandwich consisting of an Italian sausage patty topped with cheese, peppers, onions, and a mustard sauce. It's good, but plan on dropping a few Zantac. As sides, you can get fries, horseradish mashed potatoes, waffle fries, ranch fries (cubed potatoes sprinkled with ranch), potato salad, etc. There is also a nice offering of salads, soup and chili. And, if you missed the hint, they change the menu a little now and then- always good to keep it fresh.

• Reasonably-priced, quality adult beverages. Does this need an explanation? Go to happy hour with your pals. Drink several rounds. Giggle when you get the check. If you like beer, you'll also appreciate the extreme cold of a frosty mug. You might not get one of these if the place is busy, but they are super nice. If you ever drank at a place in Vermillion called Friday's, back in the good old 3.2 beer days, an Attic frosty mug will bring back some memories, or at least a flashback. Like the sign at Famous Dave's says, "Tooth Crackin' Cold Beer."

• Plenty of electronic diversions. If sitting around drinking and eating isn't enough stimulation for you, the Attic offers two pool tables, two dart boards, a Golden Tee game, a Big Game Hunter video game, various televisions, and a great "juke box." Video lottery is in a completely separate space, physically separated from the main bar and dining area. I've literally never been in there. I doubt the players mind the relative isolation and I know it sure doesn't bother me.

• Great Staff. Over the last few years, there has been a little staff turnover at the Attic. Fortunately, some of the very best are still there. (A few are going to need a little more training to meet the caliber of the vetrans.) Treat these folks right and they will make sure your needs are definitely met, if not anticipated.

• Fun Special Events. About twice a month, the Attic tries to have some sort of special event. In December, it was an ugly Christmas sweater party. In January, a Snuggie part. There is also a special birthday night to celebrate all the birthdays of that month. Also watch for special events in the fall and summer, like the Annual Jackass Roundup, when you might get to enjoy a live band in the side lot under a tent.

If there is one drawback to the Attic, it's got to be the general smokiness of the place. If it's not too busy, and someone isn't chain smoking right next to your table, it's not too bad. Even if it's busy, it's relatively good if half the place isn't puffing away. Nevertheless, there are times when I swear it gets as bad as places where you expect to be overwhelmed. I also swear there are smoke epicenters in the place. I was once in there chatting with a friend and about 12 feet away sat an older woman (hell, she could have been 35, but looked 60- smoking will do that to you) and from the smell and general disgust, you'd have thought you were sitting on her lap. YUCK.

I understand Attic management considered voluntarily putting the ki-bosh on smoking around the time the ban became effective (and then referred) but opted not to do so. I can understand that, but WHEN the voters finally enact the long-overdue ban on indoor smoking, the Attic is going to be among the very top tiers of fun hang-out places in Sioux Falls.

A Follow Up Visit to Parker's: Reflections on a Bad Experience

I've been trying to write this post for some time now. The What The Fork incident that inspired it really torqued me off. I've been stewing/seething over it, trying to think of a way to turn it into a positive experience, to look for some deeper lesson, to not sound like a PO'd crank tossing verbal hand grenades from the anonymity of the blogosphere. I think I finally reconciled the experience, or perhaps rationalized it. So, for what it may be worth, here it goes-

The Incident:

Some time ago, in the not-so-distant past, I had a special occasion to celebrate. A particularly thoughtful friend had supplied me with a gift certificate to Parker's and the Secret Salad Fork hadn't been there yet, so a trip to Parker's was most definitely in order. A couple days before the special occasion, I figured I better call for a reservation. If you are in any way tuned-in to the food scene in Sioux Falls, you should immediately recognize that Parker's is the "it" place right now. Yes, Parker's can get busy and reservations are definitely recommended.

Unfortunately, getting a reservation for dinner was almost an insurmountable task, but not for the reason one would expect. I had a difficult time getting a reservation because NO ONE WOULD ANSWER THE FORKING PHONE. Parker's has an answering machine, but I am not sure why. A message was left, but alas, no call was returned. Under most circumstances, I would have ceased all efforts to patronize an establishment that presents such challenges to doing so. I really wanted to go, though. I tried again- no answer. After my last call, literally placed from a cell phone from across the street, went unanswered, I resorted to walking in to get a reservation.

But wait, it gets better (or worse, depending on one's perspective). As I patiently waited at the host station, the phone started ringing, Ha! The sucker should have known you can't actually call for a reservation, you have to walk in like I did. Wrong. I got to stand there and wait while Stacy answered the telephone and booked a reservation! This takes several minutes. While standing right there, trying to will my blood pressure out of the danger range, I am also intently noting the reservation that is being booked. It's for the date and time I wanted. And it's for a group! Now my vision is starting to blur. I just knew I was going to get hosed because lucky caller 13 actually got through to a live person and I was going to helplessly watch the situation unfold.

Finally, Stacy gets the reservation booked and has an opportunity to address the hapless walk-in, me. Sure, she'd be happy to make a reservation, but it takes several awkward moments to find the book wherein she just noted the reservation for the group that phoned it in minutes ago. Once found, and reviewed, it is noted that the restaurant will be particularly busy at the appointed date and time because several groups will be coming in. (No kidding. I was standing right here when it happened.) Perhaps I am interested in coming in earlier, for instance an hour, or so, earlier. What I should have said was, "No, thank you. It's a special occasion and I'd really prefer not to adjust my plans." Instead, I said, "That'll be fine." By God, I went in there to get a reservation and I was going to come out with a reservation. Of course, I then spent the balance of the evening running over and over this series of events making myself angry all the while.

Interestingly, when we presented ourselves for dinner, both the Secret Salad Fork and I shared the opinion that it didn't appear the good folks at Parker's had the reservation noted.

So, how was the food? Great. Get down there and try the duck before the menu changes. It's absolutely divine. That's all I am saying about the food, though. This post isn't about the food.

Overall, we didn't think the entire experience was so hot. We weren't shown to a table- we were seated at a "two-top." (I know that's restaurant lingo, but I don't need to hear it as a customer.) I want to be shown to my table. The aforementioned two-top was located in the front of the establishment, near the huge glass window which does a phenomenal job of transmitting South Dakota's extreme winter temperature to the inside. (It was chilly. Not intolerable, but chilly.) Service was okay, insofar as orders were accurately taken and food delivered. No fresh fish, which sent the Secret Salad Fork into a tizzy. The Secret Salad Fork loves fresh fish when dining out and failure to meet that expectation will generally immediately change the tone and tenor of the evening. No one comes by to refill water. Desert isn't that hot. The owner's oldest son is observed walking around chomping on a piece of bread.

We left. Well nourished in a physical sense, but spiritually unsatisfied.

Reflection:

After much thought, and several attempts to write this post, it finally occurred to me what my problem was and what are the take aways. My problem was that I was so put off by the whole debacle of trying to get a reservation, that I became hyper-sensitive to any perceived slight or error. I will be honest enough to admit that some of this still lingers when I visit Parker's. It put a burr under my saddle, a chip on my shoulder, a bee in my bonnet, and it's going to take some time to earn back my full trust. A great restaurant should leave a person talking about the food, but also thinking that the service was attentive without being obtrusive. The owners not only appreciated the patronage, but made the diners feel welcome. In short, a person should leave with a strong desire to come back. Soon.

What are the take aways? In no particular order of importance, here are a few thoughts:

• You're only as good as the weakest link in the chain. A trip to a restaurant, especially one holding itself out as a premier fine dining establishment, should be a total experience. The food should be great, but the staff should be equally warm and engaging. Wait staff need to be more than delivery personnel. Parker's has spot-on, out of sight, insanely good food. But, if the front-of-house staff, including owners, cannot match that level, the experience is not what it should be.

• Some things can't be fixed. Face it. People screw up. It happens. Reservations are going to get lost. A steak is going to get overcooked. These things can be remedied quickly. A round of drinks, a complimentary bottle of wine, free desert for the table, or even comping the whole meal can salvage a whole lot of goodwill lost through simple, or even big mistakes. Heck, even a simple apology can do the trick. A good server can tell immediately when a diner isn't happy with some aspect of the food and sweep in for the rescue with a fix. But how do you fix a crappy front of house experience? I am yet to have a server come up to me and say, "I'm having a difficult day and I've kind of treated you a little like crap tonight, so let me get dessert for you." Look, we all have those days, but certain people just aren't allowed to have a bad day at work. Brain surgeons and airline pilots immediately come to mind. But that also goes for wait staff, bartenders, maitre d's, owners, and other people who collectively make up the face of a restaurant. I don't care if your kid wrecked the car and lied about flunking her geometry final, you don't get to take that stuff to work and inflict any sense of it on the guests. If you aren't fully prepared to give a 100% performance, stay home.

• Most people, if not the vast majority of people, aren't going to say anything about bad or sub-par service. Should I or could I have said something about the difficulty of making a reservation? Maybe, but I knew I had to blog about this and I wasn't going to blow my cover. Besides, I wanted to see if Stacy was going to ask me why I didn't just call to make the reservation. She didn't. (Okay, last rant about walking in to get a reservation. Doesn't that strike you as a tad odd? Who walks into a downtown restaurant for the distinct purpose of making a reservation for another evening? Who doesn't use a telephone to make reservations in Sioux Falls? Really? This doesn't pique your interest just a teeny bit? End of last rant.) Anonymity notwithstanding, I probably wouldn't have said anything anyway. Perhaps I am just overly passive-aggressive. Maybe I was scarred by the experience of watching a friend who was supposed to be treating me to dinner deliver an unreasonable tongue-lashing to a waitress for a series of minor faux pas. (Some people think a license to bitch is included in the price of the meal.) Maybe I just don't want to rat out a server to the boss because I am afraid he will spit in my salad next time. Maybe the owner doesn't seem too approachable. There is a very narrow tier of people between the jackasses who live to make a scene and the people who would rather suffer in silence. I think most people will not register a complaint- they just won't come back, or at least come back as often.

• It's important to treat all people like they are special. I could be wrong, or perhaps am still under the influence of my hyper-sensitivity, but from the times I have been there, I would say the ownership-types at Parker's are pretty good at warming up to the friends and favorites (folks who dine there weekly or more, or who own insurance companies, for instance) and not so good at making the new faces feel like part of the in-crowd. If I was seated at a table nearby say a prominent local lawyer who has announced his candidacy for Governor, I bet I wouldn't get a fraction of the wit and charm that would be exchanged there. Granted, people will always have friends, family, and special customers that get treated a little better, but you have to try to treat everyone like they are special.

• Answer the forking phone and return messages. I'd bet anyone a pound of fois gras that if I called The French Laundry in Napa Valley right now to make a reservation, someone would answer the telephone. I don't have any delusions that I would actually get a reservation, but at least I'd talk to a real human being, who would probably apologize for my disappointment and suggest a better time to try to make a reservation.

• Don't list things on the menu if you can't serve them with regularity. One of the most interesting lessons I have learned somewhat recently is that expectations can be managed. Sincerely. If you list a fresh fish on the menu, you have created the expectation that a fresh fish is available every day. Gumbo is on the menu. Gumbo is available every day. If the fresh fish menu item is not available every day, you have failed to manage the expectation. For a whole lot of people, like the Secret Salad Fork, a few shrimps on a salad or in a pasta dish is not a reasonable substitute for a piece of fish. There are two clear fixes for this: (1) take the fresh fish off the damned menu and offer it as an extra special feature on the occasions you actually have it or (2) have plan B ready. If the plane flying in the Mahi Mahi from Hawaii crashes in the Rockies, good thing you have some halibut or salmon on hand. This isn't complicated stuff.

I know others gush about the service at Parker's, but for me, lately, the front of house just hasn't risen to match the caliber of the food.

Downtown Scene Update: Check out the great happy hour specials at Paramount.

A few weeks ago, I wandered into Paramount for a post-work libation. Once a stand-alone facility, Paramount is now part of the Minerva's empire. A doorway was opened through the adjoining wall, and with it magically flowed Minerva's full liquor license. Prior to the merger, Paramount only offered wine and beer selections. Now, folks who would like to have a martini, margarita, or glass of Bourbon, can get one.

Another boon is the punched-up menu of appetizers available. Paramount previously offered a few things to nibble on, such as shrimp, cheeses, and other small snacks that could easily be prepared sans kitchen. Now, you can get a selection of various freshly-prepared items, including, most notably, a nice beef chislic with a nice hint of rosemary, served with some barbecue sauce for dipping and some fresh hot fries. Pretty tasty.

The real deal, though is happy hour, which runs until 7 PM, when you can get a number of items, including appetizers, wines and cocktails, for just $6 each. Beer is on the list too. You get two 16-ounce tap beers for $6. There is a nice little grouping of wines on the happy hour list, including Cline Cashmere and J. Lohr's Paso Robles Cabernet. There are also some m=nice whites. Cocktail selections include a nice margarita, served as one should be, on the rocks in a pint glass. Paramount also has a pretty respectable selection of beers on tap, which usually include something seasonal, like Sam Adams Winter Lager, and a micro brew that you might not find elsewhere in town.

If you haven't been by Paramount for a while, stop by to take a break during some holiday shopping or after work.

Owww! Owww! Too 'Picey!!! Too 'Picey!!!!!

Interesting review of Parker's in the Thursday, November 25 Argus Leader. Jay Kirschenman and his bride stopped by Parker's for dinner. http://www.argusleader.com/article/20091126/ENT02/911260317/1005/ent. Here's a summary: great coffee, great service, beautiful food, awesome pork chop, and four dishes that set poor Jay's mouth on FIRE!!!

As is generally the case with the AL's feeble attempts at reviewing restaurants and food, I couldn't disagree more. Don't get me wrong, I am not taking issue with Jay's subjective understanding of what constitutes "too spicy." After all, we have all had different food experiences that shape our understandings and impressions of what is spicy and what is not. Personally, I didn't think the gumbo at Parker's was clamp-your-throat-shut spicy hot. I would characterize it as pleasingly warm with the correct use of several peppers to give you that nice multiple level of warm. I am also not afraid or put off by the idea that there is a little cayenne in the apple desert. It does kick up the apple flavor- a notch above what cinnamon might. My beef with Jay's review is two-fold. One, it doesn't tell enough about the Parker's story (locally procured ingredients, unique menu items, multiple courses, etc.) Basically, I didn't learn much more from the review then what I could have learned from talking to co-workers at the super-stressful day job, family members who have visited, or hanging out at coffee. Second, the review left a person with the impression that the food is generally overly-hot, right down to dessert. Claiming that seasoning in several dishes caused the writer to "choke" because it was so spicy borders on irresponsible. If you haven't been to Parker's yet, don't let the AL review dissuade you.

On the other hand, if it's a Chili Head experience you desire in Sioux Falls that you desire, there are places to get it. If you are anything like me, there are times when you crave the sweat on your brow, the red face, the unquenchable burn in the mouth, and the I-don't-care-how much-I-am-going-to-regret-this-in-the-morning capsaicin fueled rush of endorphins, fortunately, you are not entirely out of luck here in Sioux Falls. You want hot? You want hot? You think you deserve hot? You can't handle the hot! (Awkward, I know. Read it again, but this time think of the scene in "A Few Good Men" where Tom Cruise is cross examining Jack Nicholson.) Jay, try some of the following places to readjust your perspective of just what might be "Too 'Picey!"

Let's go right to the top of the chart. The spiciest food in Sioux Falls, hands down, is available for the asking at Taste of India. Indian food is one of the most exciting and complex cuisines in the world. It's like a beautiful painting created with layers of colors and techniques. Sweet tastes like spinach or eggplant play off of spices like cinnamon, cardamom, or clove. Add some sweet chutney, or a cooling yogurt based sauce like raita and it only gets more complex. Add a vinegray spicy pickle and you get entirely different textures and flavors. It's awesome. And, if you want it, and only if you want it, it's forking hot. I'm talking about Vindaloo- a style of "curry" from the state of Goa, a region in India with beaches and Portuguese influences. That means Catholics, not necessarily Hindus- and meat, like pork or duck. Vindaloo is going to separate the real chili heads from the poseurs, and Taste of India does a great job with it. Vindaloo is generally spicy to begin with, but the chefs at Taste of India offer you a bit more control over your experience, by offering each diner different heat levels ranging from mild to medium, to hot, to chef's challenge. For most people who think they can handle the spice, medium will probably match their expectations and hot will probably push the boundary. Chef's challenge? Never tried it. Maybe someday.

One of the best things about Taste of India is the opportunity to mix-up the experience with multiple dishes. Not all Indian food is spicy. With that Vindaloo, or even the Rogan Josh, you might want a serving of the delightful butter chicken which is delightfully creamy, or spinach paneer, a sort of creamed spinach that has cubes of delicious home-made cheese- something between mozerella, ricotta and tofu. Give it all a try, it's all delicious. But if it's tears you are after, give the Vindaloo a shot.

Buffalo Wild Wings can offer a pretty-kicked up experience with spice. This place is great, especially since they went non-smoking. Swing in for a bite before a Skyforce, Stampede, or Canaries game. The beer is cold and plentiful and the fried food is the best. BW3, as it is often referred to by its fans, offers a broad array of sauces that are applied to their flat bread pizzas, sandwiches, wraps, and their chicken wings. BW3 offers various forms of "wings" ranging from the boneless variety, to "tenders" which are the grilled breast "tender," to the traditional bone-in, skin-on variety. The menu clearly displays the spectrum of sauce spiciness which ranges from a mild traditional wing sauce and teriyaki to more spicy tastes like garlic parmesan, honey barbecue, and medium. Ranging toward the hotter end are choices like Caribbean jerk, Asian zing and hot barbecue. If you really want to test your limits, you can go to the far right hand side of the list and check out "Blazing," a traditional style wing sauce that is undoubtedly kicked up with habaneros, if not some chili extracts. Blazing would be the challenge level. It's hot. You've been warned. If you want to dial it back just a notch, there are also choices like "Wild" and mango habanero. Lots of choices at BW3 and chances to try the sweet-hot connection with things like Asian zing and mango habanero or more complex spiciness of things like Caribbean jerk that includes spiciness from cinnamon and ginger. You can get separate flavors for every 6 wings. Take friends and mix it up. One tip: get the traditional wings. The tenders are probably "better" for you since they are grilled. The boneless ones are easier to eat- two bites off a fork, but they are breaded and that changes the whole flavor profile. The regular old wings with the bones and the skin have the flavor. Besides, this place is, for the most part, a bar. (Even though there is a sit-down side of the house which is generally more suitable for families or other people who don't necessarily want to be around people enjoying an extra adult beverage.) You're not going in there for a spa treatment, so get the damned real wings, chew the meat off the bones, chomp up the little bits of cartilage from the joints with you back teeth, eat the skin, and suck the sauce off your fingers. Wash it down with copious amounts of beer. Sheesh, I made myself hungry for wings.

Various Mexican places also can offer you a spice experience, but you might have to ask for it. If you are into food, you probably recognize that Mexican food is not necessarily spicy. Like all great cuisine, it can be quite complex and can offer different textures and tastes besides "hot." But, fortunately, it can be pretty hot, too. Ask the server what is spicy and ask if it can be kicked up. One of my personal favorites is Luis' Favorite at Puerto Vallarta, a plateful of tender sliced steak swimming in a sauce with mushrooms, peppers, and tomatoes and spiked with a vinegary chili bite. Ask to have it muy caliente.

Various Chinese restaurants around town can punch your spicy button, too. Think the wonderful spicy standby Kung Pao chicken. Golden Dragon offers a great Kung Pao and will gladly use some extra red chili to make it as hot as you think you want it. Most Chinese restaurants will kick it up for you. Just ask.

Speaking of Asian food, we REALLY need a good Thai place here in Sioux Falls. If you haven't had Thai, you need to soon. Next time you are in a bigger city (Minneapolis will do, but Chicago is better) go find a good Thai place and be prepared for a great experience. Until we get a decent Thai place here, though, I am pretty much stuck at Hu Hot. Use the Pad Thai rice noodles, stick to the chicken, definitely add tofu, and do the veggies. At the sauce bar, follow the Pad Thai "recipe," but add a few extra spoonfuls of whatever appears to be hotter than hell. You should be able to get a good sweat going. Here's an insider tip for Hu Hot. Chances are you are going to defy the suggestion at the beginning of the line to use one bowl. Why wouldn't you? You eat cereal out of bigger bowls. But when you take two bowls, put the protein and the noodles in one bowl and the veggies in the other. Here's the kicker, though- you need to double the sauce. You got two bowls, you need double the sauce, so put the equivalent of your sauce of choice times two in the two bowls.

Jay, get out there and tune up those taste buds. With any luck, you'll join the fraternity of Chili Heads and someday be saying "Too 'Picey! Too 'Picey!! I want MORE 'Picey!!"