Is that a helpful smile or a smug smirk?

Unless you haven't been paying attention, I have a love-hate, passive-aggressive relationship with the area's largest retail grocery store.  To give credit where credit is due, I like and appreciate the convenience of the local Hy Vee stores.  Within my regular routes of travel, I have several options to dash in and get some things.  I also appreciate the financial investment into the local stores.  If nothing else, they are all quite nice and clean.

All of this gets derailed, of course, when I actually have to go inside and make purchases.

Meat pricing has driven me absolutely bonkers for years.  It's an absolute scam.  Case in point.  Just last evening, I had to stop and get a couple items to fulfill a dinner request at home.  While strolling by the meat counter to get some chicken breasts (the ones on meat trays for $3.49 a pound as opposed to the exact same ones in the full-service counter for $3.99 a pound), I noticed some nice big T-Bone steaks offered for $15 a piece.  The little sign says they are like 1.5 pounds.  Right next to them were the exact same steaks, cut a little thinner, for something like $8.99 a pound.  Do the math.  I did and confirmed that bigger steak was over-priced.  If you buy steaks, or pork chops, or whatever, by the piece out of the Hy Vee meat counter, there is about a 98 to 1 chance you are screwing yourself. Check it out.

Last week I needed a pound of bulk Italian sausage for a breakfast recipe.  I didn't have time to make sausage.  Fortunately, Hy Vee had some bulk sausage in the meat case.  Unfortunately, it was pre-packaged.  I hate that because you can NEVER get a pound.  The stuff is ALWAYS portioned in the range of 1.2 to 1.4 pounds.  (Unlike the green beans mentioned below, you really can't re-package this yourself.)

Of course, this sort of chicanery occurs all throughout the store.  Over in the dairy aisle, you will find the blocks of ubiquitous Hy Vee brand cheese- sharp cheddar, mild cheddar, Monterrey Jack, mozzarella, etc.  The blocks generally come in three sizes- 8 oz, 16 oz and 24 oz.  The pricing, however, can go all over the board.  If ONE of the sizes is on sale, get out your calculator because the helpful smiles are trying to screw you.  Actually, you might also need some scratch paper, because the price is probably further shrouded in a "three for $x" scheme.  Check the price of the 16 ouncer and then do the math.  Chances are, one of those sizes is being sold at a disadvantageous price, and it very well could be the one on sale.  I have literally purchased two 8 oz blocks for less than the price of the 16 oz block.  Don't even get me started on the pre-shredded cheeses.

This sort of thing follows over into the produce section.  Compare the price of a head of romaine to the cost of a package of three hearts of romaine.  You might have to venture over to the scale to determine which is the better deal.  Oddly enough, it very well could be the hearts in the bag, which runs totally contrary to the general rule that more handling (washing, stripping off outer leaves, packaged) equals more expensive.  But what REALLY bends my tines in the produce section is when green beans or Brussels sprouts are pre-packaged in gallon zip-lock bags.  They are priced per pound, but most shoppers just pick up the bag, because they think they have to.  I don't.  If I want a couple handfuls, I open one of those suckers up and select the ones I want (in other words, the nice ones and not all the stems) and place them in another bag.  Once.  Just once, I saw un-pre-packaged green beans at my go-to Hy Vee.  They looked like total crap, so I skipped them in favor of the bag trick.

And.  Yes, annnnnd, as if these little math problems weren't bad enough, now Hy Vee has introduced the Fuel Saver card which interjects per gallon of gasoline discount for the purchase of certain grocery items.  Beware, this takes obfuscation of pricing schemes to a whole new level.

Look, I don't mean to be a total Nellie Negative here.  There are some decent prices on some things once in a while.  My point is that it's nearly impossible to figure out.  Thanks to Fuel Saver, figuring out the best deal requires the use of calculus.  If you see someone with a slide rule and a Hewlett-Packard HP 15C scientific calculator at the meat counter pricing out steaks, that's me.

Unfortunately, the smug executives in West Des Moines have no incentive to strip away the gimmicks and return to quality and value.  Hy Vee has effectively stripped away most, if not all, barriers to its business model here in Sioux Falls and bought out  most of the competition.  Can Fareway make a dent?  Doubtful with that crappy location on 41st Street and being closed on Sunday.

Thank God, it's farmer's market season again.  At least I can buy fresh foods from people who have some pride in their products who don't rely on complicated pricing gimmicks.

The "new" Hy Vee sucks

I had a chance to visit the "new" Hy Vee store at 57th and Cliff this past weekend. If this is supposed to be an improvement over the Sunshine that previously occupied the space, I am yet to see it. Honestly, Sunshine wasn't much to crow about, but they did have a few nice things that Hy Vee didn't, like honestly priced meat that isn't wrapped in mini-gas chambers.

Amazingly, the same people that brought the Taj Mahal of grocery shopping to Sioux Falls at 37th and Minnesota have apparently managed in one acquisition and "remodeling" to immediately establish the weakest link in its Sioux Falls chain. Maybe Hy Vee just got this location going to make 26th and Sycamore look more glamorous.

Whatever. It sucks. I could go on and explain myself, but no sense in being too negative. Check it out and see if you agree.

Good Bye Sunshine, Hello Hy Vee

So, Hy Vee has purchased three stores in Sioux Falls and plans to close one and convert the other two to Hy Vee stores in the near future. Yikes.

I hate to see this kind of thing happen, because in the end it is going to affect the choices grocery shoppers have every day. With this move, there will only be two major grocery retailers in Sioux Falls: Hy Vee and Walmart. (Don't even get me started on Walmart.) Sure, there will be other small, independent grocers like Andy's and Franklin Food Mart, and specialty stores like Look's, Cleaver's, and even The Market on Phillips. Even though some people enjoy grocery shopping and will seek out certain products from certain places- steaks from one place, wine from another, fresh vegetables from the Farmer's Market- for a whole lot of people going to the grocery store is a real chore and a large expense, so if it can be done in one fell swoop, all the better. And, at some point, almost every consumer has to stop for something at one of the big grocers.

Hy Vee tends to drive me nuts. I am often astonished by the poor quality of produce at 26th and Sycamore, assuming they even have what I wanted in the first place. I've been confronted with pricing on fruit that could have easily formed the basis of a math problem on the SAT. The bakery bread selection sucks unless all you want is soft wheat or white formed into different shapes. The meat pricing at Hy Vee is an absolute sham- I nearly stroke out while I stand at the meat case running the numbers in my head. Seriously, it's a screw job. But, glutton for punsishment that I am, I keep shopping there. It also turns out that the Secret Teaspoon is a member of a local sports team that takes advantage of scrip programs to help fund the activity, so a part of our purchases at Hy Vee are credited toward our tab with the team.

The thing I don't think a lot of people realize about Hy Vee is how deftly they have been able to remove some barriers to their business model. For instance, there used to be a limit to how many retail off sale liquor licenses a corporate entity like Nash Finch or Hy Vee could hold. The South Dakota Legislature passed a bill to revise that limit. That's why you see huge liquor departments in every major grocery retailer these days. When the bill was making its way through the Legislature, it was referred to as the Hy Vee bill. See the connection? Remember when you could only buy beer on Sundays? That was a city ordinance, and a dumb one at that, but who do you think led the charge to get that one changed?

Sunshine isn't exactly a grocery palace itself, but they did several things better than Hy Vee. Honest meat that isn't sealed in little portable gas chambers priced in a straight-forward manner comes to mind. Sunshine also has some sales and specials, including Milk Mondays. that we usually took advantage of. The bottom line was, at least with Sunshine, you had an option. Now, not so much.

The loser here is the consumer because Hy Vee will be the dominant grocery retailer in the area. If you think you can't get decent produce at 26th and Sycamore now, just wait until they know that your options are to go to Hy Vee on E 10th, Minnesota, or 57th and Cliff. Good luck with that. And good luck seeing a major competitor come in and try to muscle into the market in the near future.

I might just have to swing into Andy's one of these days. I wonder if we can get Andy's on the scrip program?

Sioux Falls Grocery Scene: In-Store Bakeries

Okay, so back to the ranting and raving about our local food stores.  The subject today is the bakery department with a particular focus on breads.  But first, an acknowledgment: We are really lucky to have places like Breadsmith,  Panera, and Queen City available to fulfill our needs for well-made artisanal breads and baked goods.  Anyone who has ever tried to bake really good breads or attempted to turn out a batch of puff pastry at home should recognize that the skill set for baking is entirely different than that for cooking.  One of the very few intelligent things I heard Emeril Lagasse utter between "Bams!" on Emeril Live when it used to be on Food Network was that baking requires the use of formulas instead of the recipes used for cooking. Producing a good crusty baguette requires time, skill, and  a proper appreciation for exactly how much protein ought to be in the flour.  Oh, and an oven that intermittently injects steam into the baking chamber doesn't hurt either.  It's fun to play with this stuff at home, but for the time and trouble, you can probably buy a superior loaf of brioche, ciabatta, or a baguette at Breadsmith or Panera.

One other acknowledgement:  The selection of baked goods at the Sioux Falls chain grocery stores is much better than it used to be.  Remember when bagels were a novelty?  Remember when the only place to get a decent baguette was the Minerva's 26th Street Market?

I tend to be very particular about breads.  Although I don't care what pre-sliced, in the plastic sack sort of bread we have around the house for the Secret Teaspoon to make toast or to use for the occasional quick peanut butter sandwich for lunch, breads for other things must meet certain requirements.  For instance, French bread should have a decent crust- not one that might chip a tooth- but one that requires a little effort to chomp into.  Rolls for grilled sausages (generally either Italian sausage or bratwurst) should be a bit chewy, but not crusty like a good baguette.  It's also nice to be able to get things like ciabatta rolls for grilled burgers or fancy sandwiches.  

To get to the point about the grocery stores: You are not going to find these sorts of things there.  Hy Vee produces various sizes and shapes of baked rolls and breads- little dinner rolls, hot dog buns, hamburger buns, brat buns, etc.  Unfortunately, all those sizes and shapes are produced from the same ubiquitous, generally soft and un-crusty white or wheat bread dough.  The white bread dough also seems to form the backbone for the loaves of French bread (in long, fat and twin-loaf sizes) and its identical twin sibling Italian bread.

For the most part, the same thing seems to be true at Sunshine and that other place, Wal-something-or-other.  The various store-baked breads are just the same dough in different shapes. 

The same thing is pretty much true of the other baked goods, particularly the pastries.  Sure the doughnuts are pretty good, but try to get a good danish made with puff pastry.  You're probably not going to find them.

The unavailability of some of these items in Sioux Falls is indeed puzzling.  If you find yourself out in the West River Country- particularly in Rapid City or Spearfish visit a Safeway store.  Safeway manages to turn out very decent loaves of French breads with nice crusts.  Safeway also offers interesting selections of bagels and pastries.  So, I know it's doable, but for whatever reason the grocers here in Sioux Falls refuse to kick up the quality.

In an effort to sell breads that the groceries are either unwilling or unable to make you can pick up breads like French baguettes or ciabatta rolls that are sealed in cellophane plastic and require a heat-and-eat treatment.  Nice to have this option, especially when a trip to Breadsmith or Panera is not possible, but those breads are relatively expensive and where do they come from, anyway?

Don't get me wrong, the soft breads from the groceries have their place and all.  If you want the really good stuff, however, you are going to have to do a little planning and a little driving.  For breads, no one in Sioux Falls can compete with Breadsmith and Panera.  In terms of other baked goods (cakes, scones, quiche) no one can give these treats the magic treatment like the folks at Queen City Bakery at 8th and Weber.

I've also managed to find a reasonable substitute for the kind of bread needed for a good sausage.  Jimmy Johns.  No kidding.  For 50 cents, you can buy "day old" loaves of the French bread they make in-store for their sandwiches.  If they don't have any of those, you can buy a "fresh" loaf for about 2 bucks.  A little steep for what you get, especially considering that you probably cannot discern that much difference between the "day old" bread and the fresh stuff.  Anyway, the bread at Jimmy Johns makes a pretty decent vessel for getting spicy grilled Italian sausages, grilled peppers and onions, and a heaping few spoonfuls of oily, spicy giardinera from plate to face.  It's just the right width- just slice into the required lengths and pluck out a little of the soft innards.

P.S.  If you want to gain a much deeper appreciation for what it takes to make a really good artisanal bread, go find a copy of the masterpiece written by Julia Child and Simone Beck- Mastering the Art of French Cooking.  As I sit here I cannot remember if it is volume one or two that you will need.  At any rate, over the course of something like eleven pages Julia sets forth a method for making French bread at home.  Considering the only ingredients for this bread are flour, water, yeast, and salt you'll get a good idea of the process and care required to develop the flavor, crust, and shapes of good French bread.  

You might also look for a copy of The Bread Bible by Rose Levy Berenbaum.  As I recall, Rose was a chemistry major in college and she applies the same level of precision and understanding of the process to baking that a researcher for duPont would employ to develop better Teflon. The woman doesn't simply measure ingredients, she weighs them- including water and eggs.  Rose also authored The Cake Bible and the Pie and Pastry Bible.  You'll learn a lot from these books, although you may never be brave enough, patient enough, or OCD enough to attempt some of the recipes.

The Sioux Falls Grocery Scene: Meat

Yeah, baby!  Meat!  The Fork loves meat.  Vegetables, grains and even tofu all have their place- usually right next to something cooked medium rare.

It's hard to tell if we have made progress in the last 40 years or so when it comes to meat.  There was a time when there were actually butcher shops and even grocery stores had butchers on staff.  I am not talking about the people who stand back behind the counter and hand you the same boneless skinless chicken breasts available wrapped over in the meat case 30 feet away, I mean people who actually could take apart a half a beef carcass back there using a knife and a band saw and use those skills to hand you exactly what you want.

For a few brief shining moments we had such a place here in Sioux Falls a few years ago- Tom's Specialty Meats located on N. Weber Avenue by the Falls.  If you wanted a T-Bone steak, you told Tom or one of his able staff members how thick you wanted one and they cut it on the spot and wrapped it up.  If you wanted a nice 4-bone bone-in rib roast for Christmas dinner- call Tom.  Tom also sold a pretty fair amount of goat.  Yes, goat.  Kind of an ethnic item, if you catch the Fork's drift, but available nonetheless.  I bet a leg of goat would cook pretty well on the old grill.

Anyhoooo . . .

Let's talk about the state of the meat buying experience here in Soo Foo.  And to be clear, when the Fork is talking about meat, we're talking mostly about beef.  

Hy Vee.  Look, as far as big, nice, features, and a variety of inventory, Hy Vee has to be at the top of the chain food store food chain around here.  Hy Vee has had full service, butcher shop-style meat counters for some time.  They have a nice selection of packaged meats.  Everything looks great. Who could want more?  The Fork, for one.

If the Fork had a dime for every time the Fork has about lost it while trying to compare prices on meats between the counter and the case, the Fork could blog full time and lose the super stressful day job.    If you are going to walk into Hy Vee and pick up what you want without giving a thought to cost, then you're in good shape.  If you want to compare some labels and feel like you are making a good economical purchase, good luck.  It's confusing.  And, the Fork thinks it's confusing on purpose.  Here's an example.  Say it's a nice summer night and you want to fire up the grill and make a little steak for you and yours.  You go to Hy Vee and walk over to the case and find 18-22 oz of sirloin in one big steak for, let's say six bucks a pound.  Or you can go over to the meat counter and ask one of the helpful smiles to wrap you up two 8oz charcoal steaks or whatever they're called (they're sirloins), two for 8 bucks.  That's 8 bucks a pound.  That's an insult to the Fork's intelligence and really bends the tines.  Hy Vee does the same thing with pork and they do the same thing with sausages- brats 5 for $3.00 or $4.00.  Go look in the packages, find one with five in it and see if it costs more or less than the ones in the case.  If you think a friendly smile is in the back room stuffing seasoning cuts of pork and veal and stuffing casings, you got a cart with two wobbly wheels.  Fortunately, the Fork's mother smelted all the dumb silverware, so the Fork doesn't fall for Hy Vee's little price stunts.

The other problem the Fork has with Hy Vee meats is the packaged meat that is in the little trays sealed with clear plastic.  That stuff ain't being cut up behind the counter by a butcher and being placed in the case.  It's coming from a central location where that meat is put in the little tray and some sort of gas that keeps the meat looking rosy red is injected before the plastic is sealed.  At least with the old-style packaged meats that were wrapped on the little foam tray, you could pick it up and kind of look at it to see if its what you wanted.  

To leave Hy Vee on a good note, they do usually have a selection of steaks that are cut for people who really like steaks.  You know, those puppies that are at least an inch and a quarter thick and are called things like Sioux Falls Cut Strip.  As long as they don't price those suckers individually, they are a decent enough deal.  But, as mentioned below- you can do better if it's a big beefy steak you long for.

Sunshine.  Sunshine prides itself on its meats.  Definitely not as flashy as Hy Vee, but they keep guys behind the counter who can help you out. The meat in the case is wrapped and not all of it is sealed up in those mini gas chambers.  That's good.  One might conclude that the stuff is at least processed in town or closer than West Des Moines.  The Fork doesn't know what the deal is, but Sunshine's meat seems to be a bit better than Hy Vee's.  The Fork had a real decent porterhouse from Sunshine a few weeks ago.  It was good and flavorful, but it would have been nice if it had been thicker.  The Fork thinks Sunshine would really have something going if they had some steaks in the meat case that look like those nice honkers they have at Hy Vee.

Sunshine also seems to have a selection of some very locally raised pork and beef.  The Fork might like to try some sometime, but it only comes in individually wrapped in vacuum packaging and frozen hard as a rock.  The Fork doesn't generally buy meat by the cart to fill up the deep freeze and the Fork doesn't buy meat so it can thaw for two or three days before hitting the grill.

Cleaver's.  Nice commercials for these guys lately.  It's kind of a neat little store and there is some good stuff in the freezer cases.  It's nice to be able to get a Hutterite chicken or some Kuchen from Eureka.  The service at the meat counter is great.   

You're gonna pay more for meat at Cleaver's than you are at Hy Vee or Sunshine.  So, is it worth it?  In the Fork's humble opinion: no.  Personally, the Fork thinks they picked up the fresh meat at Sunshine and are just cutting it themselves.  If you want the real meat counter experience and are willing to pay a premium price and want better meat, head up the hill, a little further south on Western Avenue and go see Nick Heineman and the crew at Look's.

Look's.  The Fork wouldn't necessarily stop into Look's to pick up all the protein needed for a week or two (cha ching $$), but when the Fork and the rest of the Secret Utensils get a hankering for a good umami experience Look's is the only real choice.  Granted, you're going to pay a higher price, but you are going to get superior meat.  

The secret behind Look's is simple: they carry higher quality beef than anyone else in town.  In terms of beef, Look's is the only place in town that sells USDA Prime beef.  Look's also sells some dry-aged beef.  Best of all, Look's basic, run-of-the-mill grade of beef is CAB- that's Certified Angus Beef.  It just so happens the Fork knows just enough about how fresh beef is sold and graded to be dangerous, but that knowledge comes in handy when it's time to buy meat.  The Fork is not prepared to offer an opinion as to whether Angus is better than Hereford or Limousin or Charolais breeds, but the Fork can tell you that, by and large, in order to qualify as CAB, there is more grading involved.  That puts CAB closer to USDA Prime than some of that Amana Beef you are buying at Hy Vee.  The pay-off is good flavor.

The customer service at Look's is also excellent.  Don't see what you want in the case?  Ask the fellas to go back there and cut it exactly the way you want it- like inch and a half thick bone-in ribeyes.  They are only too happy to oblige and they actually have meat back there.  

Besides, McNally's is right next door and a pint of Guinness sure goes well after meat shopping.

Sam's Club.  I know, I know.  It's Wal-Mart and the Fork HATES Wal-Mart, but Sam's Club does have a couple of unique advantages over every other place in town when it comes to meat.  Actually, it's two advantages: (1) they actually carry some stuff you cannot get elsewhere in town and (2) quantity.  And at least the meat at Sam's isn't coming from China.  Yet. 

So, what can you get at Sam's that no one else has?  How about a big ol' packer cut brisket?  Bone in pork shoulders, generally in 6-8 pound chunks.  These are real barbecue meats- full of fat and connective tissue, tough as hell if not cooked for hours and hours at low temperatures and dirt cheap.  Not the kind of thing you throw on that big stainless steel propane fired thing sitting on the deck.  Real BBQ- like smoke, a temperature of about 235 degrees and 12-20 hours worth of cook time.  Tastes like somebody "famous" made it BBQ.  Ask one of the 17 year old friendly smiles at Hy Vee for a packer cut brisket and see if he knows what the hell you're talking about.  One other interesting thing at Sam's that no one else seems to have and that is decent racks of lamb.  No kidding.  It's odd, but Sam's has them- only place in town I'll buy them.

Sam's is also a pretty good place to buy things like pork loins and racks of pork ribs.  These meats come straight from the processor to Sam's.  They are in cryovac packaging.  In other words, they are the same thing that someone at Hy Vee or Sunshine cut open, dried off and stuck in the meat case where you are gonna pay a lot more for it.  Buy some freezer paper, a roll of tape, a Sharpie marker and sharpen a knife and you can turn one of those whole loins into chops, chunks of pork for stew, a small loin roast or two- you get the idea.

There are some other places in town the Fork needs to check out.  The Franklin Market is reputed to have pretty good meat and a trip up to Renner might be in order one of these days.

So, what's the verdict?  If you want a decent deal on meat and aren't afraid of doing some of the work yourself, Sam's might be the ticket.  Sam's is definitely the ticket if you want authentic meats to use for a real deal low and slow BBQ experience.  Don't want to make a special trip to Sam's for a few pork chops?  Well, then it's Hy Vee or Sunshine, but don't fall for Hy Vee's little pricing games.  Want a special treat?  Look's.

Want veal? Skirt steak? Blood sausage? Really good handmade Italian sausage?  Duck breasts?  Too bad.  Everyone in town could do a better job with variety.  I know some of this stuff is out there, but it's probably at some of the very small ethnic groceries around town- more on those in another post.

Until next time, eat more beef.  The West wasn't won on salad.