Friday, March 22, 2013

PepperJax Grill. America's Best Philly? Hmmmm.

In an effort to hit more food places in Sioux Falls, my lunch-mate, the SSS, and I decided to hit PepperJax Grill recently.  According to PepperJax own advertising, this is America's Best Philly.  A bold claim, indeed.  Well, since it was that or the same-old-same-old, we tried it.

Before I get to how I feel about this place, let's have a little sidebar.  Sandwiches that can be considered signature cuisine in certain places in our fair country are particular creatures.  To recreate them is a very difficult task, because so many of them are truly reliant on local ingredients that define their very essence.

There are three sandwiches that immediately come to my mind.

One.  The Po Boy.  This is pure New Orleans.  Essentailly, it is a sandwich built on a loaf of French Bread, but not just any baguette, but a Leidenheimer loaf of bread.  This is not your average roll.  Thin crackly skin, tasty inside.  Ohhhh, but the inside of a Po Boy is loaded with fried shrimp and/or oysters, or roast beef.  And then it is dressed with mayonnaise, tomato slices and lettuce.  Or, if you are more daring, go for a spider sandwich containing a fried soft shelled crab.  Delightful.

Two.  The Italian Beef.  This is a must in Chicago.  Like Pho, a good Beef can cure a simple hangover.  Take a hearty Italian roll, add slices of beef that have been slow roasted in herbs and wine for hours and hours.  Then, you have to top it.  I recommend "sweet" and "hot."  That is, roasted green bell peppers and spoonfuls of spicy, vinegary hot giardinera, and then the whole shebang should be baptized in beef juices and served, preferably with cheese fries.

Three.  The Philly Cheesesteak.  Steak, generally ribeye, sliced very thin and cooked on a flattop grill.  Give some finely diced onions a similar treatment and serve the whole shebang on a big soft loaf of bread with Cheez Whiz slathered on it.  As George Takei might say, Ohhhhhhhhhh, myyyyyyyyy!

With those three references in mind, let me state that it is an extremely risky proposition to try to recreate a staple sandwich like one of the above, let alone to claim that in a place like Sioux Falls or Omaha, that you are the best in the US of A.

But that is what PepperJax, founded in Omaha is claiming.  And, they fail.  Let's recount.  This is a place from Omaha that makes "phillies."  The founder patented a way to slice sirloin for easy grilling.  They serve that grilled with "swiss american" cheese.  To that, you can add onions, green peppers, mushrooms, jalapenos, and then some sauces.  You can also ask to have your meat grilled with jalapeno juices.  The "fireball."

Theoretically, this can't be that bad.  And, I suppose it's not that bad.  My issue was that it's really not that great, either.  The steak is seasoned with some spice and herb combo that says Middle America about as loudly as Ranch Dressing.  The meat is sirloin.  If I am recalling my philly protocol correctly, the authentic article is rib eye.  Also, it really needs the Whiz.  A superior Philly counts on simple ingredients that combine into something much bigger than the sum of their parts.

A fairly nice try, but just not close enough to the mark for me.  Like I was pointing out above, if you are going to go for one of the great regional sandwiches, you really need to nail it and PepperJax, sadly, does not.  I chalk that up to an attempt to complicate that which need not be complicated.

Now, if you get to Rapid City, find Philly Ted's.  Outstanding.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

WTF: No More Keg Chicken??!!

Yes, this is somewhat old news, but frankly, I am still a bit frazzled by it.  For years, we here in River City have been the beneficiaries of a great fried chicken arch rivalry.  If you needed any proof that competition is good for consumers, you needed look no further than Bob's and The Keg for fried chicken.  Both delicious and prepared well.  I preferred the Keg, personally.

The Keg was once an east-side institution.  I recall when it was located on the corner of East 10th Street and Bahnson Avenue.  The location is now a Mint Casino.  It may have been located somewhere else in that general area.  I will have to ask one of of my forkie friends who grew up in Hilltop.  At some point, the Keg moved to the strip mall near the southeast corner of 26th and Sycamore.  Probably not as truly Keggy as the original location, but a neat place to visit.  Every so often when I found myself jonesing for a fried chicken fix, I would wander over to the Keg, occupy a bar stool, order a cold beer, and place an order to go.  The Keg bar, was ALWAYS entertaining.  There were some regular patrons there who easily could have supplied The Jerry Springer Show with months of material.  Loved it.

But alas, it was not to last.  The first only step in what we might call the rise and fall of the Keg was the opening of a second, freshly-constructed location at the T-intersection of 57th and Marion.  Looked nice enough.  I never went in there.  Why would I when I can visit the highly entertaining and conveniently located east side location?  But then, the east side location closed and became the Overtime, yet another sports bar and grille.  This would be the start of the "fall" part of the Keg.  I have never figured out what happened here, but I have theories.  Personally, I think some rocket scientist thought that shiny new 57th and Marion location would be located conveniently enough for those east sider disciples of boasted poultry to hop on 57th and cruise on over.  Buzzzzzz.  Wrong!  And what do we have for our contestants, Johnny?  Not fried chicken!

No one asked me.  I could have told anyone this would happen.  57th and Marion is a virtual dead zone for eating joints.  Need proof?  Exhibit one: Big City Burrito.  Exhibit two: Phillies.  Exhibit three: Inca Express.  Next victim: Zaroty.  (More on that later.)  Only one thing flies in that particular location.  Booze- on-sale and off-sale.  Fogie's, Billy Frog, and the Lie-brary.  I know Sioux Falls isn't THAT big, but it's big enough that people ain't driving from 18th and Bahnson to 57th and Marion.

So, congratulations, Bob, for your Clucking Good victory in the fried chicken battle.  Only a matter of time before I suspect you overtake Sneaky's, apparently a Sioux City institution strategically located in a gas station on West 12th Street.  Besides such a swell location, did I mention Sneaky's is another Sioux City import?  Like Luciano's.  And we all know how I feel about that.

Thanksgiving Thoughts on Portion Size and Food Packaging

I heard some good advice the other day about loading up a Thanksgiving plate with all those traditional goodies: If you can't see the china pattern through the food, you took too much.  This is advice I actually follow.  Thanksgiving is a tough one, mainly because someone in my family insists on an early meal.  At no other time during any given year, do I consume so many calories during one meal and so early in the day.  And, after getting up early and preparing a turkey and some sides, I usually end up conked out for several hours following the meal.  Eating like this probably works for Hutterites or crab fisherman, who have actually been working for 7 or 8 hours before 1:00 PM, but for those of us who don't, it's a challenge.  So, I try to follow the advice of looking for the china pattern through the food and eat a little less, or a lot less as the case may be.

Speaking of portion size, unless you live under a very large, moss-covered rock located in the middle of say, Haakon County, then you have probably noticed some of the shenanigans going on with portion size. The portion-creep has been occurring for years in the grocery stores.  Here is what I am talking about.  If you are over say, the age of 35, a square, cardboard container of your favorite ice cream is generally referred to as a half-gallon.  That's what it was in 1967, 1972, and 1989.  Today, it looks the same, so it must be a half-gallon, two quarts, 64 ounces, right?  Wrong.  Don't believe me?  Go open the freezer.  3.75 quarts.  That is 0.25 quart, a/k/a 8 ounces, a/k/a one cup short of a half gallon.  BUT, the price is in line as if that was still a half-gallon container.

This sort of thing is going on all through the aisles of groceries.  Things look the same, and they are priced the same, but they are not the same.  Check out sugar packaging like my favorite economist blogger, who also happens to love food and cooking, Meghan McArdle, has to say about this.  Here.  Call it what you will, it's a price increase that producers and distributors are trying to obfuscate.  Personally, I am waiting to see if these packaging pirates can figure out how to sell you 10 eggs for the price of a dozen in a package that makes you think you are still getting 12 eggs.  Stay tuned for that one.

Well, the very same thing is occurring under our very noses in restaurants here in River City.

Example One.  The first example, I am guessing, has been noticed by many folks.  I call it "The Great Jumbo Wing-Ding" at Buffalo Wild Wings.  As you may recall, I loves me some B-Dubs wings.  If you've been to B-Dubs like twice in your life and ordered wings, ( and I mean traditional wings, not the McNuggets) then you probably have it in your mind that they are priced per 6 wings.  Or, were, as it turns out.  B-Dubs decided to start delivering different product, a so-called JUMBO wing.  And, true that, the wings were bigger.  However, the geniuses in accounting on the 38th floor of B-Dub Tower decided that those wings were so JUMBO and over the top huge and generously sized, that it was necessary to reduce the allotted portion from the relatively standard SIX wings to FIVE, because hell, you are getting as much or more fried, sauced, gooey protein and chicken skin per order at the same price.  Maybe.

But there's a twist to this story.  First, as the SSS and I can both attest, the bigger JUMBO wings sucked.  Some fried chicken wing magic seems to get lost in that marginal up-sizing.  They never seemed cooked as well or sauced to specs.  Second, and it's extremely difficult to tell whether this was the plan all along concocted in the B-Dub Board room on the 65th floor of B-Dub Tower, or whether it was a reaction to bitching, but the wing size has been dialed back to the more standard sized wing.  What didn't dial back up?  The portion size.  Still FIVE wings.  Seems like it would have been a hell of a lot easier to just scootch up the price and leave the damned wings as they were.  Do the math next time you are in there.  About a buck a wing.

Example Two.  I don't eat chicken wings all the time.  Those things will kill you for crying out loud.  So, the other day, a couple of us decide to hit Chevy's for lunch.  I run hot and cold on Chevy's, but one thing I can always count on there is the Santa Fe Chopped salad with the apple chipotle vinaigrette.  Pretty good salad and always made pretty well.  Cold, crisp romaine lettuce, avocado, some blue cheese, roasted corn, red bell pepper, a little bacon and some grilled chicken.  Seriously, a pretty nice salad.

So, when we were at Chevy's, it appears a new menu is out.  It seems Chevy's has been screwing with their lunch menu for an extended period of time.  Sure enough, the Santa Fe Chopped Salad remains on the menu.  And, it is available in a regular entree size for just shy of 12 bucks, or a luncheon-sized portion for, I believe, $6.99.  Well, it's lunch, so let's have the luncheon size.  I suspected we would be sorry we did this, and, as usual, I should have listened to my gut instinct.

Turns out the luncheon size, which you'd expect to be about half the size of the regular portion, (the math certainly suggests that) was really along the lines of a side salad.  Small salad/pasta bowl holding a damned small salad.  Less than a handful of romaine with about a tablespoon each, maybe, of the other goodies.  I suspect if the two of us would have combined our two luncheon sized salads, we would have had about half to two-thirds of the regular salad.  Total rip off.  Next time, we'll order the regular size and two forks.

One of my golden standards for a good restaurant is consistency.  It's important to know exactly what you are going to get in terms of quality AND quantity for a given price.  That means when it comes to portion size, the best thing to do is to adopt Ron Popeil's slogan for the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie: Set it and Forget it!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I See Starz! New Sportz Bar Open!

I happened to be driving down 57th Street today around noon and noticed Starz, the new sports bar in the former Joey's Seafood location is now open.  I know from intrepid research that Starz is billed as an old-school sports joint.  Music from the 50s and 60s and old-school beers on tap.

Well, as I mentioned, the soft opening was today.  So, what the fork, we stopped in.

The place looks good inside.  Darker than Joey's (if you can remember back to then).  There is dark brick on the walls, a good parcel of TVs and sports memorabilia all over the walls.  A lot of it is comprised of covers of old sports magazines from the 50s and 60s.  Pretty cool looking joint.

Nice parcel of beers on tap, including several that you just don't see around, like Hamm's, PBR, Old Style, and Schlitz.  And, of course, the standards that no bar should be without, like Miller Lite.  It's easy to poo-poo beers like Schlitz and Grain Belt, but seriously, if you haven't tried them lately, especially on tap, you are missing out.  Give them a try.

Menu is interesting.  Exciting?  Not to me, but interesting.  The good news is, it's not the same old same old that you will find in almost any other sports bar joint.  The bad news is, you aren't going to recognize the stuff.  Yes, there are burgers, available in single, double and triple patty form.  With fries (not as good as the Coalinga) or potato salad.  Baskets of fried potatoes or tater tots, even made into nachos, if you think your arteries can handle it.  Appetizers that include gizzards.  Winner!  Then it gets kind of off the path.  There are hot dogs on the menu, which is something I do not think of ordering when I go out to eat. There are also interesting combinations of things like pot roast with cheddar on Texas toast.  Or a meatloaf sandwich.  Amazingly, I think thee guys managed to really nail the whole old-school thing.  If I hit a joint in 1962, I'd expect exactly these goods and exactly these beers.

So, Starz managed to defy the sports bar mold here in River City.  The questions I have are these:  (1) Are people gonna go for it?  (2) If so can Starz make it in this goofy, hard to get into location.  I am excited to find out.

P.S.  For weeks, I have thought that the whole Starz logo is pretty much a trademark rip off of an old, long defunct beer label: Storz.  I know this only by virtue of a bottle opener that my beer-drinking grandparents owned during the hey day of such beers.

See?




Thursday, September 13, 2012

Sushi Masa. Alive and Kicking (Ass).

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

I don't necessarily get downtown as much as I want to sometimes.  Especially for fish, and especially for lunch.  But when I want fish downtown, I immediately think of Sushi Masa.  Damned good stuff.

Well, of late, I have been confused.  I have heard that, perhaps, GASP, Sushi Masa is closed.  (Sorry, Cory, you confused the hell out of me there.) Say it ain't so, Fume, say it ain't so!

Well, turns out Sushi Masa is only closed for lunch.  Not dinner.  Matter of fact, I just finished an amazing dinner here and am very happy to report that any rumors of the demise of Sushi Masa are most definitely premature.

So, get downtown and get that raw fish!

Monday, September 3, 2012

WTF: Kid In Bars

It occurs to me that there is such a thing here in South Dakota that I would call the "Family Bar."  Face it, if you find yourself off of I-90 of I-29, especially if more than by, say, 20-30 miles, you are going to find yourself in a small town.  Chances are, that if the town is franchise free (including grocery stores), then there might be a place that serves food.  But, that place is also probably the town bar. So, if you are going to eat, bowl, play video lottery, shoot pool, watch football on the NFL Package, or play Golden Tee, this is it.  Chances further are, the kids who are running around the joint are related to you or are kids of friends you know or at least like.

In Sioux Falls, this isn't true.  At all.  We have places where families can eat, and mommie and daddy can get some alcohol- think Granite City, Applebees, Olive Garden, or any other number of places.  But, there are also places that are more bar, or all bar, that just happen to serve food.  I am thinking of places like T.C.'s Referee, Cherry Creek or The Attic.  Most of these places try to have a couple "sides" of the joint, i.e. a bar side versus the restaurant side.  Granted, this is even better since the smoking ban because no place was really smoke free previously.  This is great if you like to have your kids experience bar food.  It's bad, however, if you like bar sans kids.

Look, I have a simple plea:  If you bring your kids to a place where adults (21, or so, and up) are hanging out drinking, eating, and doing whatever, please control your forking kids.  I am sure they are really adorable and all.  I am sure grandma and grandpa love them.  I am sure they are harmless.  BUT, I don't want them forking with a dart game I have going with the SSS because they are intrigued by the lights and sounds.  And, I don't want to teach your kids new vocabulary words.  (Think of things that rhyme with "Duck" and especially things that rhyme with "Mother Ducker.")

If you are going to bring your kid(s) to a bar here in Sioux Falls, for the forking love of God, exercise a great deal of parental control.  Watch them.  Don't allow them to run around with a dollar to put in any flashing machine without supervision,  And, whatever you do, do NOT just let them roam.  I am sure your kids are lovely.  But think of it this way: If you take your kids to a sitter so you and a few other friends or couples friends can have a diner party at your house, don't turn your little darlings loose on me in my bar.

Am I clear?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Check This Out: Khorasan Kabob House

Okay, so I got to tell you about this place.  The SSS and I have recently been on a mission to go to places to eat that we talk about, but don't seem to ever actually visit.  Big hit this last week at Khorasan Kabob House.

Khorasan is located across from the Western Mall at 41st and Elmwood.  The location was previously occupied by Troika, a European grocery store and eatery.  Okay, it's an old 7-11.  No Slurpees anymore, but I did see a mango lassi or two make their way by.

The decor is nothing to brag about.  The interior of the restaurant is small and the decor fairly sparse.  There is a great collection of carpets in the dining room.  But trust me, you aren't going to care about the decor.

The food is Asian in the sense that India and Afghanistan is part of Asia.  Sure, as the name promises, kabobs are available and there is the omnipresent Butter Chicken on the menu, but there are also several highly authentic Afghan and Indian dishes on the menu.  Make sure you try some roti with your meal and also be sure to get the stuffed grape leaves for an appetizer.  The entrees are reasonably priced and really tasty.  One word of caution, though.  If you can't navigate the anatomy of a chicken that has been cut into about 15 pieces, bone on, then you might want to look at lamb or beef dishes.

Get in there and try it, though.  Super good stuff.  And while you are at it, get yourself out of your usual routine.  There is a ton of great food here in Sioux Falls.  Go try it.