Hy Vee Market Grille: Credit Where Credit is Due

I have a love-hate relationship with Hy Vee. They try hard and have made many improvements to their shopping experience over the years. Unfortunately, some of those changes have been made at a political level (Sunday alcohol sales) and some crafty real estate purchases that have literally driven competitors out of the marketplace. I don't like that.

But what I do like is the new Market Grille concept that has come to all the local Hy Vee stores, with the sole exception of 26th and Sycamore.  It's a sit-down restaurant, complete with wine and beer service, inside the store. We visited the location on 37th and Minnesota last week while finishing some holiday meal shopping. 

Overall, I must say, not too shabby. Atmosphere is pretty good. Tables and some booths around the room, bare concrete floors, bar area in the corner, and a wall of wine. Staff was friendly and helpful. 

The menu is pretty extensive and features a lot more than what someone could run out to the deli/Chinese/sushi/fried chicken area to plate. There are good appetizers.  Try the maple bacon won tons, as mentioned by Cory Myers. They are unique and pretty tasty. Want to keep eating? You can select from salads, sushi rolls, steaks, chicken entrees, sandwiches, and flatbread pizzas. I tried the Sicilian flatbread. Not what I expected. Instead of getting a mini-pizza, it was on a crackly sort of bread with three different meats (meatballs, crumbled Italian sausage, and pieces of a spicy sausage link) and dollop of sauce and cheese. Was it the new culinary star of the SF dining scene? No. But it was well-prepared and pretty tasty.

And overall, that's my take on the place. Hy Vee is not going to pose much of a threat to the likes of Minerva's, Bros, or Ode. But it is a nice, convenient place to duck into for a casual meal or a refreshment of the adult beverage persuasion while shopping. It's a good addition to the overall food fabric of our community.

So, kudos, Hy Vee. Now, about that fresh meat pricing . . .

God Bless You, Paul Prudhomme

A week ago, Paul Prudhomme died at age 75. A lot of ink has been spilled about his passing and his enormous contribution to the American culinary scene. Chef Paul was an important piece of my own food background, so I am going to spill just a few more drops in his honor.

Paul Prudhomme was the youngest of 13 children. His parents were sharecroppers in south Louisiana, near Opelousas. This is the heart of Cajun Country. It's about an hour or so straight west of New Orleans. Lafayette is the epicenter. The towns of Eunice, Breaux Bridge, Church Point, and even Avery Island (the source of Tabasco) are within striking distance. If you ever have a chance to visit-- go. The area is rich with food and music traditions. We're talking country people. Small towns. It's a lot like any other rural part of America, except instead of corn or soybeans, you see vast tracts of sugar cane, and bayous and rivers instead of lakes and streams.

Paul Prudhomme grew up in that tradition, watching his mother and siblings using the foods they could grow or raise to make delicious, belly-filling and heart-warming meals. If you have an older relative who waxes philosophically about how his mother toiled to bake bread weekly and put meals on the table every week, while preserving meats and vegetables to get the most out of a hog or beef-- same thing, just with a Cajun French accent. This was original farm-to-table cooking, because it was essential to survival.

So, Paul learned these traditions, and perfected them really, eventually landing in New Orleans to become the executive chef at Commander's Palace. He then opened his own restaurant, K-Paul's Louisiana Kitchen on Chartres Street in the French Quarter. I confess, I've never eaten there, but I have walked by several times. It's hard to say what we are looking for in the French Quarter at any given time, but it usually is not fine dining. At any rate, if you are a fan of Emeril Lagasse, John Besh, or Donald Link, just keep in mind that Paul Prudhomme made straight the path that these chefs travel.

No, my encounters with Chef Paul were in cookbooks. I have a copy of Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen and another I will get to in a moment. If you want to make credible Cajun or Creole, this is the one you need. I studied it at length. Back in the early 1990's, it was extremely difficult to find some of the ingredients one needed to make basic dishes like jambalaya or gumbo. It was nearly impossible to find fresh jalapenos in a produce section, let alone tasso ham or andouille. But with a few substitutions, you could come close and now, those ingredients are widely available and there are even great south Louisiana retailers who will ship the real deal to you for a price. These dishes are eye-opening and delicious. One of Prudhomme's hallmarks is the use of spice mixes- heady mixes of cayenne, white pepper and black pepper, along with a few dried herbs like basil, thyme, or oregano, depending on the dish. But the peppers are a given and it's a magical mix. It's the blend that is responsible for delivering a brand of heat that only Cajun food can- a deep, slow, round burn that demands you take another bite. This isn't light fare and some of it is a bit of a project. For instance, making chicken andouille gumbo requires frying the chicken first- in oil, lots of it. Everything, and I mean everything in the house smelled of fried chicken, including socks in a dresser drawer. It's also one of those times it occurred to me that having a fire extinguisher nearby was probably a good idea. We survived and the smelly house was worth the gumbo.

Louisiana Kitchen also contains the method for making your own Turducken, just in case you want to test your patience and knife skills boning three birds. (Make sure you attempt assembly a few days before Thanksgiving in case you need the aid of a surgeon after you sever some tendons in your hand with that boning knife.) It also describes how to blacken redfish, chicken, or burgers. (Hint: do NOT try this in the house.) It's true that blackened redfish became so popular that Louisiana had to impose a commercial fishing ban on it.

The Prudhomme Family Cookbook is another sort of critter entirely. It contains recipes contributed by Chef Paul, as well as the Prudhomme siblings. I've never seen a cookbook put out by a south Louisiana Catholic parish Lady's Altar Society as a fund raiser, but I bet it reads about like this. In addition to the sorts of recipes you'd expect to find- jambalaya, shrimp Creole, gumbo, you are also going to find recipes that were selected to preserve them. I'm talking things like boudin rouge (a pork sausage that requires about a quart of fresh pork blood) and paunce bourre (stuffed pork stomach, yep, Cajun haggis). This book is out of print, so if you ever see a copy, grab it.

One quick diversion. I received a copy as a gift in 1990. I used to love to read it, especially one recipe for something I thought was absolutely nuts. About three or four pages are dedicated to the concept of getting a couple gallons of peanut oil together and frying a whole turkey. I thought the concept was fascinating and crazy, but by the end of the decade, you could purchase a rig to attempt this stunt at home. And by now, that craze has mostly passed after any number of wannabe Cajun rednecks have burned down their deck. However, that burner is exactly what you need to blacken redfish along with a big cast iron pan. How's that for irony?

Fall always makes me crave Cajun food, and Cajun music. The chill in the air demands something spicy that requires a cold beer and begs a dance in the kitchen after dinner.

Au revoir et bon chance, Chef Paul. Merci beaucoup!

Example of Odd Things in The Friendly Aisles

One thing that I find a bit more than a tad irritating is the odd pricing of those block cheeses at Hy Vee. 

The other day I was obsessed with making Eggplant Parmesan. I had some beautiful eggplants from The Good Earth, but needed a couple items to complete the dish, including fresh mozerella. So, off to the friendly neighborhood Hy Vee. 

I look in the usual spot where I find the balls and logs of soft, "fresh" mozerella. Out. All gone. Nada. Finis. I even checked up front to see if they moved it up front as some feature. Not there either. I really wanted the fresh cheese, but I wanted the eggplant dish more, so I set off clear across the store to the location of the everyday block-style cheeses. Why all the different cheeses can't live together in peace is beyond me, but that's a whole other rant. 

Upon reaching the block cheese area, I was confronted with the usual wacky pricing problem. Here's what I mean: The block cheese is sold in three different sizes- 8 oz, 16 oz (that's a pound in case you forgot), and 24 oz. the question is what's the best deal? You'd think it would be the big 24 oz, sort of a bulk discount thing. Nope. 

Check it out yourself. Here is the price for 8 oz blocks. Neato! A sale!

Here is the one pounder. 

And the 24 ouncer. 

What to do, what to do .... Well, the little 8 oz blocks were the best price, so I grabbed two and got the hell out of there. And made eggplant. It was good. 

Enjoy the local produce and brush up on those math skills!

Is Your Favorite Bar Divey Enough?

With all the recent kerfluffle over the comment of a downtown saloon owner considering turning the former Sid's Liquor store into a new bar featuring live music, similar to the legendary Pomp Room, or potentially named The Pomp Room, I got to thinking about what the local scene is looking like these days.

It occurs to me that a lot of the legendary sketch factor has been lost to the ages. My idea of dive bar probably wouldn't make the cut for the third D in Guy Fieri's idea of DDD. A good dive bar is dark, located in an area you're not quite sure you should park your car, smelly (once with the combination of stale beer and stale smoke), some broken furniture (like the booth with the spring that pokes your butt or a chair missing a back), and when it comes to food either a glorious cheeseburger or perhaps only a rack of potato chips and beer nuts and a jar of pickled turkey gizzards. These are places where you can generally find a group of regulars that not only day drink, they morning drink. Ideally, the place has been a somewhat recent crime scene- people forget there was a stabbing at the Pomp Room in the 1990s.

About the time the Pomp Room closed down, the Sioux Falls dive bar scene started disappearing in earnest. Let's take a little inventory to clear up what sorts of places I mean: Smoe's, certain iterations of Skelly's, Phil's Corner, The Arrow Bar, The Rainbow, The Lime Light, the original Crow Bar, The Stockman's, The Sportsman's, and the mac daddy king of all dive joints- The Frontier. Now, there's a memory, or rather a foggy string of vague semi-connected recollections. If the front of the house wasn't scary enough, with semi-catatonic patrons and people eyeing you wondering why you are in there, you could push through the back doors of swinging plywood where there was a stage set up for the, ummm, errr, "performers" and a bunch of bicycles lined up against the back wall that Charlie Johnston had collected for the law enforcement bike give away.

It seems like a lot of these sorts of places are gone, but a few are most definitely disbursed around town. I think people like to wax romantic about the old dives as they stand in line to get into the latest greatest strip mall sportsy, chicken wing-serving bar and grille. I don't often find lines to get into the Coalinga or Walter's Hi Ho. But if you want to go, they are out there, here's a short list: Little Coalinga (a cheeseburger nirvana), Walter's Hi Ho just up the street, Silver Moon over by the Farmer's Market, Log Cabin, just to name a few. These are great places to go check out, and I strongly encourage people to do so. I suspect we may lose a few more as 8th Street starts to change as the rail switching yards are relocated.

What else makes your list?

Credit Where Credit Is Due: Charcuterie at Hy Vee

I had to stop by Hy Vee today because I needed a relatively obscure ingredient (for Sioux Falls, anyway) and I sort of had a hunch this particular Hy Vee might have it. The ingredient? I needed some veal for a little cooking project. They had it.

On my way back to the meat department as I was winding through the maze of renovations, I walked by the new Charcuterie counter. And I must say . . . pretty forking impressed! When I heard Hy Vee was doing this, I figured the product would look a lot more like the deli counter and a lot less than the selection at Look's. I took a quick inventory and noticed a fine offering of cured meats, including speck, prosciutto, pancetta, double smoked bacon, mortadella, soprasetta (regular and spicy), and others. Overall, a very respectable offering. I have needs for these sorts of things in my life and I am very glad to have them here. At the Charcuterie, Hy Vee also sells a nice assortment of pickles and other accompaniments. Don't know what you want? They will slice you up a tray. And I bet the helpful smiles slice faster than the artisans at Prairie Berry.

In the future, I am looking forward to the other new features at Hy Vee, especially in the Grille or whatever they are calling it, where beer and wine will be offered. There are a lot of things about Hy Vee that drive me to drink, like their total rip off meat pricing. So, at least when I get pissed off, I can just wheel my cart over there and take a brief pause. Way to gauge consumer demand Hy Vee!

And thanks for the nice selection of tasty salted meats!

Legend's Steakhouse: A Nice Addition in Deadwood

Deadwood has some great dining options. Truly, there is something to fit most Midwestern tastes and budgets. You want prime rib and crab buffet? Ok. I don't. But good ones are available. Want fancy schmancy like a sorbet palate cleanser before your main course? Jake's can take care of that. Want a really nice steak at a really decent price? Legend's. 

This is a new venue. It is located in the lower level of the Franklin Hotel. Yes, in other words where Durty Nelly's Salloon used to be. For those without recent Deadwood history, the Franklin is Deadwood's version of a grand dame of an old hotel. Built in 1903, the Franklin is a commanding presence on Main Street. This is one of several buildings that will remind you that Deadwood was the epicenter of commerce and culture in western South Dakota back when Rapid City was just a hay camp. Be forewarned though, this ain't the Brown Palace and Durty Nelly's could make the Crow Bar look rather ritzy in comparison. 

Well, it's all gone. All the busted furniture. The bar. The stage. The poker area. The scary bathrooms. Gone. All gone. 

Now it is a relatively bright, well furnished dining area with a separate bar. Bare rock walls. Hardwoods. White tablecloths. Nice lighting fixtures, even though they are using them all to make the room quite bright. 

The staff is gracious and helpful. The menu is very steak-centric. There are five steak choices on the menu plus a chicken and lamb selection. Steaks are sirloin, ribeye, filet ( two cuts) and a prime rib. There are also pasta and dinner salad choices. All steaks are CAB cut and aged in-house. And get this! Legend's is bucking the trend of offering a la carte sides, so with your order you have a choice of potatoes or a rice and a choice of soups and salads! Kind of refreshing. 

Great wine selections by the glass or by the bottle. 

We had steaks at our table. And here's the low down. Not bad. The ribeye was good and tasty although not cooked to a barely medium rare as I prefer. But it was good and well seasoned. The salad was fresh and tasty- a steakhouse salad of greens, olives, blue cheese in a basil vinaigrette. Other choices included Caesar and a wedge. My au gratin potatoes were good. One of my guests had mashed potatoes. They included gravy, which I found odd. Nice wine glasses and great service. Did it blow my mind? No. Was it like a trip to a meat museum like Peter Lugar or another legendary protein palace? No. Was it outstanding? No. But for a party of four the entire tab was under $150 before tip and that included an $80 bottle of cab because I am dangerous with a wine list. At that price, I can't bitch and really, there was nothing to bitch about. Had that meal cost $400, there would be hell to pay. It was a reasonably good, well-prepared and well-presented meal at a very, very reasonable price. I'd go again. 

A couple things to pass on. One, if you are up to the challenge, go for the prime rib. A ribeye is $19.99. The prime rib is $29.99. I had to be reasonably functional for a business thing the next day, so I blew the 10 bucks on better wine instead of a more serious case of the meat sweats. Next time, it's prime rib. Remember the Flintstones intro where Fred gets that huge hunk of meat? Well, that's basically what you're going to get at Legend's. I'm getting sweaty thinking about it and teary because I didn't get it. Next time. Two, get there early enough to go have a drink on the veranda. It has also been refurbished and the view is awesome. 

Trust me. Legend's is one of the best bets you can make in Deadwood. Just make sure to call for a reservation. 

Live, from Rapid City! It's Philly Ted's!

There was a time when Rapid Citians had a serious dining inferiority complex compared to Sioux Falls. Oddly, this mainly had to do with the fact there was an Olive Garden location in Sioux Falls. The fools!

Well, they certainly aren't doing too shabby these days thanks to Philly Ted and a very authentic cheesesteak experience. 

Located in a strip mall on North LaCrosse and appropriately divey between a video lottery joint and a payday lender, this is THE location of THE BEST cheesesteak in South Dakota, iif not almost everywhere outside of South Filly. 

Ted is the guy behind the counter and he will patiently guide you through your order and even encourage you to get a small drink since refills are free. 

If you want the real deal: a steak with onions and Cheese Whiz (yes, Cheese Whiz) this is it. House baked bread. Boom. If you get one of those and an order of cheese fries, you'll only need a shower and a long nap for dessert. 

I could go on and on, but this witty sign (only one among several) really says it all. 

Get there you won't be sorry and you won't think Pepperjax has America's best later. 

Oh, Keg Chicken, How Do I Love Thee?

Assuming this blog has themes, one of them must certainly be how lucky we are to have such diversity and variety in food here in Sioux Falls. Hell, we have variety within variety! What do I mean by that? Take pho, for instance.  It's a huge steamy bowl of noodles, tasty broth. a variety of meats (er, proteins, since tendons and tripe might not be considered "meat") and delicious sprouts, herbs, lime and hot peppers to garnish. Well if you are a devotee of this ubiquitous southeast Asian comfort food like I am, you can not only get pho here, you can get it at several places-- Saigon Panda, Lam's, Dynasty, Pho Quyhn, and Phnom Pehn.

The same is true with one of my all-time favorite comfort foods: fried chicken. It is truly one of my favorite guilty pleasures. It's one of those things I just crave once in a while and need to spend time alone with enjoying every juicy morsel and crispy bit I can extract off the bones.

Although there are a number of places that serve a respectable fried chicken, including Mama's Phried and Phillies, Jono's/Botski's, and even groceries and buffet joints, let's face the facts. If you love fried chicken like I do, in this town, you fall into one of two camps that are as separate and distinct as the East and West sides of town. Yes, you are either a disciple of Bob's or The Keg. Period.

Both Bob's and The Keg are awesome. Bob's seems to be more of a straight-forward seasoned flour coating while The Keg has a bit more crust suggesting some sort of batter. Both are probably brined or marinated to some extent to make it juicy and plump up that meat. Both are fried to perfection- crispy, juicy, hot and good. Whoever invented the pressure fryer should have received a Nobel Prize.

I got absolutely nothing bad to say about Bob's, but my heart belongs to The Keg. And boy, am I ever glad they are back in town. The Keg was an East side staple, once located at 10th and Bahnson and later at 26th and Sycamore where OT is now. I LOVED that place. In an ill-fated expansion attempt, the Keg opened a branch office on the West side at 57th and Marion. Based on nothing more than keen observation and rank speculation, I suspect the West side joint became the drain that required closure of the East side location and then eventually sunk the whole ship. After a brief hiatus, Keg chicken re-emerged at the Hillside on Lake Madison. That was good for the folks of Lake County and the Soo Foo folks with lake homes, but bad for me.

Well, The Keg is back. Unfortunately, it's landing spot is the former location of Sneaky's Chicken (yet another Sioux City outpost that couldn't fly here) which is the former location of Taco Villa. As much as I'd like to bitch about the location, it's a Sioux Falls zip code and I'd rather jaunt across or around town, than go without.

So, welcome back Keg chicken! I've missed you! Now start checking out some of the East side vacancies and come all the way home.

The BBQ Invasion

Art may imitate life, but some food life seems to imitate TV. What do I mean by that? Well, I recall a time when no one, and I mean no one played a form of Poker called Texas Hold'em. That is until about three cable networks started televising tournaments. Now, it's everywhere and on line and everyone is suddenly Phil Hellmuth. Well, now competition BBQ is the rage on TV and everyone wants to be Myron Mixon.

This phenomenon has taken root right here in River City. By my count, we have several BBQ start ups fresh off local competition trails. We will discuss a few in a moment, but first a little more background.

BBQ can mean a lot of things, depending on what part of the country you happen to be standing in. In Kansas City, it means ribs slathered in sauce. In Memphis, it means ribs with a dry rub coating and sauce on the side. In Chicago, it might mean a local sausage called a red hot.  In the Carolinas it probably means pork, either shoulders or whole hog, pulled or chopped and served with light, acidy (mustard or vinegar based) sauces. In Texas, it means big cuts of beef like brisket or short ribs and spicy sausages. In all places, the common thread is bigger cuts that are cooked low and slow over wood fires and smoke from hickory, mesquite, pecan, or fruit woods. It's very simple cooking, but anyone who does much cooking should know that some of the simplest methods can be the hardest to master. True BBQ is much less of a formula executed on good equipment (although those help). No, it's more of an art form that you can spend your life practicing to achieve that ideal combination of meat, time, and smoke. Hey, beer is just malted barley, water, hops and yeast, right?

We've got several places here in Sioux Falls that are cranking out pretty good Q. Let's run through the list that I know of . . .

• Famous Dave's. Yeah, it's a chain joint and I don't normally like to delve into the chains, especially when there are great local options, but to give credit where credit is due, these guys do pretty respectable BBQ for this part of Fly Over Country. Good quality, nice sides, fun atmosphere and consistent product. Don't count these guys out.

• Big Rig BBQ. The newcomer to the game.  Big Rig is situated in a trailer in the parking lot of Home Depot. The owner, Bob Brenner, is clearly a student and a devotee of the Texas methods of BBQ. Simple stuff here served in to-go containers and portioned by weight, or sandwich specials. Do yourself a favor, just get at least a half pound of brisket, something to drink, a couple slices of bread, and stand there at one of those wire spools and eat it. I'm just going to say it: this is probably the best local Q you are going to get here. Skip the sauce. Skip the sausage. Skip the sides. Get brisket. Ask Bob for a few burnt ends. Did I mention the brisket?

• Backyard BBQ. We've tried these guys before. It's pretty good. I still like the ribs best of all and the wings are pretty good. I like the sides. Nice place. Unfortunately, not a whole lot more to say.

• Rib Shack BBQ. Rib Shack operates a catering and retail BBQ business. This is almost the best kept BBQ secret in town. You have to check Facebook to see when and where they are open. Generally, they sell ribs, brisket, pulled pork and sides from their truck parked at King's Liquors on the corner of North Cliff and Benson Rd. Sometimes they are open other spots around town. The ribs and brisket are excellent. Well worth the noon-time trek.

• Rowdy Hog Smokin' BBQ. I first tried Rowdy Hog at Jazzfest several years ago. I had a brisket sandwich that failed to impress me. Instead of slices, the brisket was cooked down to goo and seemed more like an overly moist Iowa loose meat sandwich than anything. I chalked the whole thing up to less than ideal circumstances.  Rowdy Hog has since opened a retail location over near 12th and Marion. I've stopped in for a rack of "award winning" ribs, some sides, and a sampling of the six or so sauces on hand. Yeah, still not impressed. Enjoyable, but lacking in big flavor.

Get out and try these places and see what you like best. We are lucky to have these sorts of choices, so get out and support them with your dollars.

And, when traveling across the country, especially when you are in some of the great BBQ regions, be sure to seek out local greats there.

Eat This Right Now! Menudo at Gilberto's

This is Menudo at Gilberto's. Not the Latin boy band. The soup. Rich, spicy, and chock full of pork knuckle, tripe, marrow, and some hominy. Add some squeezes of lime, some onion and cilantro, and, if you dare, a little extra red chili. Tear up some fresh tortillas. Knock yourself out. It cures almost everything that's wrong with you. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got tripe in it and other jiggly meats. Get over it and eat it. It's cooked perfectly.  Tender and tasty. Hands down, this is one of the best things I have ever eaten at any restaurant in Sioux Falls. It's that forking good. And for $7.50 for a quart of it on the weekends, it's a tremendous bargain. Eat it until you are about to burst and then put the rest in a to-go container. 

Once again, Gilberto's knocks it clear out of the park. 

Prairie Berry East Bank: The Good,The Bad, and The Ugly

For those of you who are not familiar, Prairie Berry is a South Dakota winery. Kind of an oxymoron, I know since this isn't exactly grape country. The original location is in the Black Hills near Hill City. Like most other SD based wineries, Prairie Berry produces a lot of fruit wines, made from things like rhubarb. This seems to hearken back to the dandelion wine all of us were told about as kids by our parents and grandparents. Although, Prairie Berry also produces some regular varietals like Zinfandel under its Ana Pesa label, named in honor of the winemakers grandmother.

Earlier this year, Prairie Berry opened a branch office on the East Bank in Sioux Falls. It's located in the building where you also find Queen City Bakery on 8th Street. I have visited a few times. Like most places, service was a bit clunky when it first opened. It's clicking better now, at least to a point where I feel justified making some comments and sharing some thoughts.

The Good

What's good about the place? The space where Prairie Berry East Bank is located is beautiful. The building is an old Sioux Quartzite building and the interiors are the stone walls. It's really well done and really gorgeous. There is retail space inside, a small bar area that seats maybe 8-10, a tall communal high-top table and perhaps 8 tables for seating. There is also some outdoor seating.

The food is also worthy of mention. The menu items are good and feature soups, salads, and pizzas. Recently, Prairie Berry opened an Epicurean Bar featuring selections of cured meats and cheeses, some of which is relatively locally sourced. I have noticed some cheeses from Iowa. You can select what you want and it is cut to order. It's really outstanding, but there are significant drawbacks. We will get to that.

The beverage selection is also pretty good. Prairie Berry brews craft beer under the Miner name and there are some very unique beers. Try the Blue IPA made with blueberries or any limited-edition brew. As for wines, unless the fruit wines are your thing (and they are certainly not mine) stick to the Ana Pesa.

The Bad

Although generally well-staffed, there is no table service. If you want food or beverages, you need to go order them. It's not necessarily abundantly clear how it all works, so consider yourself forewarned.

It's also not abundantly clear when the place is open and for what. I know of small groups who have walked in at say 7 or 8 o'clock in the evening t enjoy some wine and food, only to be turned away because it was closing time. Conversely, you may be able to get drinks at some hours, but not food.

Remember that Epicurean bar I mentioned? Also seemingly totally random. Apparently, only a few key employees have license to operate the state-of-the-art slicer and scale to portion out selections. You can walk in there at the middle of the day on a Saturday after doing some browsing or farmers marketing downtown, only to find out the charcuterie cutter upper doesn't come in until 3 pm.

The Ugly

First and foremost, it's the pricing. As I mentioned above, the space itself is very nice. There is merchandise for sale, but it's not bursting in your face. Let's put it this way: it's not hard to walk around inside. I should know better that this is generally a warning, because businesses have to pay for that prime real estate and swanky decor somehow. Make no mistake about it, the joint is spendy. A couple beers or glasses of wine for you and a friend, along with a charcuterie tray could very well set you back 50 to 75 bucks depending on how carried away you might get.

The other ugly is largely a repeat- it's the randomness of the whole thing. Never knowing for sure if you can get food or beverages at the time of day you want to visit. If the place is open, is the Epicurean bar available? Are all the items on the menu available? I heard one server have to explain to a customer who walked up to the bar to order that the items he wanted from the menu were unavailable and that the menu was extremely outdated. WTF? Throw it away and print one that actually has items that are available! How hard is that?

I'm also really torn on service. The people are really quite nice and are knowledgeable about product. But I miss an overall sense of urgency. Exhibit one on that is the fact that the last time I ordered charcuterie, it took a whopping 45 minutes from placement of order to delivery. Honest to God, a high school kid at any Hy Vee deli could have cut up everything in the case in the same amount of time.

Overall, I am not headed back anytime soon and I would have a hard time recommending the place to friends, at least without severe reservations and a bevy of disclaimers. I don't mind paying a little more for special or good product, but that has to include the entire package-- good stuff, beautiful decor, and smart, snappy service. And these guys just don't seem to have it figured out yet.

The Perennial Problem of Poor Parenting in Public-- A Guest Post on Kids in Bars

Climbing summer temperatures means kid sporting events are in full swing. That's great if you are a young athlete. Unfortunately, it also means a strong uptick in kids in the local watering holes between and after games. In this post, the SSS addresses the stresses inflicted on the general public when mommy and daddy decide it's time to was the taste of sunscreen and sunflower seeds out of their mouths with a cold beverage as their kids run roughshod.

I like kids, primarily my own.  I like good food and good bars too.  But mixing good bars and kids is a toxic combination for the patron at the bar without kids.  

I don't know when the shift began, but I have noticed an uptick in the number of kids at a local bar - a place primarily for consuming adult beverages.  In the last two months, I have observed the following:

Parents bringing their kids to the bar, armed with lots of dollar bills to put into pool tables, dart machines and not-so-oriented to kids games like Beer Pong, Beerball or a Big Buck Hunter.  

The aforementioned kids, after using their dollars, generally run amuck- attempting to climb the dart machine,   crawling under the pool tables, playing hide and seek under the pool tables (and everywhere else where kids could hide).  In a bar.  A place where the patrons are there to enjoy an ADULT beverage - and not usually wanting to be around the antics of small children.   And the parents?  Well, they are enjoying their adult beverage and glued to their smart phones oblivious to their children running amuck. 

Some suggestions for bars and parents:

Do not allow kids.  McNallys and JL Beers follow this approach.  It makes them extra desirable to many people.  Remember the hyperbole that banning smoking was going to kill bar profits?  It hasn't happened.  Indeed, many people, like me, enjoy coming home and not reeking of smoke.  I propose a similar rule for kids.   Bars should be 21 only.  If you want your kids to eat dinner with you, go someplace that is not primarily a bar.   The government shouldn't have to regulate common sense.  

Only parents think their kids are cute.   Other bar patrons do not think it is cute when your kids are running around chasing each other or using their straws as water squirting devices. 

If you do want to go out to eat and consume a beer, go to Chuck-E- Cheese.  Beer is served there.  It was designed for kids to get sugared up and run amuck.   You don't like the food? Too bad. Or be THAT annoying person and take your kids to a bar and make other patrons miserable by your kids wanting to play Beer Pong while climbing on a bar stool to reach a dart stuck far above their reach. 

If a bar has sections, and you need to lift your kids up to sit on chairs on one side of the bar, that is the implied adults only side.   

Lastly, this should go without saying:   Lawn darts were changed because a family game involving children throwing sharp objects resulted in some kids being injured.   For the same reason, giving young children darts to throw at a machine is a bad idea.   Dart machines were not intended to be a substitute for a pitching cage.   Some kid is going to get his or her eye poked out by a dart and the parents bringing their kids to a bar will sue.   Unfortunately, the law is behind the times and there is no "parents are idiots defense." 

And, a shout out to bar servers.   Families who choose to patronize bars should be subject to a mandatory 30% gratuity.  Their kids cause twice the mess of adults, so they should be compensated accordingly.   And generally, the poor server has to keep track of separate checks at the adult table and keep track of whose kid is whose.  Sadly too many parents that think it is appropriate to bring their children to a bar do not think it is necessary to tip the server based on the extra work serving families involves.  

Bottom line:  the world would be a better place if kids and bars did not mix and parents had the common sense not to bring their kids to bars.  If parents must bring their little darlings, it would be nice if they would exercise the bare minimum of supervision and require their offspring to sit in the chair and play with an electronic device.  If they aren't willing to do that, for the love of God, go to Chuck-E-Cheese. 

Pizza Rev or Fiero Pizza? Your Guide To Hipster Pie in Sioux Falls

So, it turns out that Wednesday, May 6, 2015 is International No Diet Day. Forking A! How can you beat that for timing, because I am jonesing for some pizza. And these days here in River City, pizza is the newest trend in fast casual dining. What's fast casual? Been to Qdoba, ahem Chipotle, or Panera lately? That's fast casual.

In terms of pizza, Red Rossa has been doing this concept justice for years. And I love Red Rossa. It's a great Neapolitan style pie.  Today, however, we are going to concentrate on the newest players on the scene: Pizza Rev and Fiero Pizza. (Footnote: I hope to write about Breadico's pizza in the near future. If it is half as good as the bread, it's going to be awesome. Unfortunately, Breadico's pizza times don't easily coincide with the Fork's hectic social calendar.)

At any rate, Pizza Rev and Fiero Pizza are what I refer to as hipster pie. It's the newest thing. And, the target audience is a 20-30 something that likes to customize his or her food choices from among an array of fresh, hopefully organic, ingredients. I didn't make that up. I read it in the Argus, so it has to be accurate.

Both of these places specialize in pizzas that are more or less a single serving. You process through a line, not unlike you would at a Pita Pit, Subway, or Qdoba to customize your pie. In both places, you start with a crust choice, then a sauce (tomato-based, olive oil, or a creamy alfredo sort of thing), then cheeses, then proteins (grilled chicken, various sausages, bacon), then vegetables and such (need I explain), followed by any last minute sprinkles of fresh herbs or dried spices. You pizza is then cooked while you pay and make a drink selection. You then go sit down, or play with your smart phone, and wait for a friendly staff member to hunt you down and deliver your tasty creation. I want to be very clear that both Pizza Rev and Fiero execute this formula very well. Good service experiences at both places. Fresh ingredients. Quality product.

But, they are also both very different and which you prefer probably depends on your own personal preferences. Here's my take on both.

Fiero Pizza is located downtown in the heart of Phillips Avenue. Food & Fermentation was once located in the same spot- right across from Stogies. Great location if you are downtown strolling about. Fiero is also totally locally owned. It's not part of a chain, so the owners are probably there when you are. The Fiero pie is oblong. The crust is most definitely hand-crafted and is cooked on a little conveyor oven that allows it to puff up and create bubbles and pockets. At Fiero, your choice of cheese is applied to the crust in slice form after exactly one ladle of sauce is applied to the crust. Each one of those slices is so thin, you could read 605 Magazine through it. If you want more cheese, prepare to flip out some more coin. The end product, absent extra cheese, is very tasty. It's warm and soft. If the ingredients don't go well together, that's on you because it was your idea to put whatever on there. Fiero must be doing something right because they managed a rookie win in Cory Myers' Food Falls annual bracket challenge.

Pizza Rev is a chain located on West 49th Street and is somewhat disguised in a bank building. Go google the address if you can't find the place across the street from Hy Vee and next to Pier One Imports. It's a chain. It's owned by Todd Porter, the guy behind the local Applebees, Carino's and Chevy's. (Todd probably isn't the guy making your pizza, by the way.) The Rev crust is round and it's undoubtedly a franchise formula. Each crust is pressed using a big machine that flattens a ball of dough into a nice round crust. I rather suspect the machine also applies some heat and slightly parbakes it. The cheese is grated and I've never seen a person be told they have reached their pre-designated allotment of cheese. The pie is then baked in a pizza oven on a stone floor. The end result is a round, crispy-crust pizza.

Warning. At either place if you decide to be that guy that sees how many toppings you can cram onto your pie so you feel like you have personally tipped the economic scales in your favor, you are going to have a major mess on your hands. Literally. As much as it pains me to say it, moderation and balance are key.

Personally, for me, Rev offers the correct coefficient of crust, sauce, and cheese, albeit in a more suburbany, chain-type of place. For me, these components are the soul of a pizza, and Rev is hitting them spot on. If you want downtown and locally home grown, and are willing to pay more for cheese, then Fiero is your place. Either way, the food life is good here in Sioux Falls and I can pretty much guarantee, come May 6, I'm at one of these places to celebrate International No Diet Day.

Get You Some Gilberto's

I've said it before. We are extremely lucky here in Sioux Falls to have ever increasing and diverse opportunities to enjoy an ever-expanding world of food and cultures. Today, I find myself compelled to share my thoughts on just one such place, the relatively-recently opened Gilberto's, on South Minnesota Ave.

Housed in the former location of Long John Silver's, and now painted a very bright yellow, Gilberto's is a 24-hour, non-stop parade of some of the best Mexican street food as you are likely to lay your hands on in our fair city. If you like fresh, authentic, hand crafted flavor, this is your place. If your idea of authentic Mexican is a burrito full of tater tots or tacos made out of Dorritos, well, you know where to go.

Gilberto's isn't doing anything you cannot find in other established eateries in Sioux Falls, they are just doing it extremely well, if not better, than others. You can get similar, awesome food, at places like Nikki's and a host of other places that I think frankly appear a little intimidating to a lot of pasty white Sioux Falls natives. And, I suppose Gilberto's may seem a little intimidating, as well, so here is what to expect when you go:

• The parking situation SUCKS. There is one relatively narrow driveway off Minnesota Avenue that leads to an "L" shaped parking lot that sort of wraps around the back of the building. Some of the spots are in some places that are easier to get into than out of. Overall, probably very close to the utter inconvenience of the Eberts & Gerbert's parking lot on South Louise. Of, and when exiting during daylight hours, you probably realistically cannot turn left to go south, so don't even think about it.
• The ordering situation looks a little funky. Go in the back entrance of the building. Step around the corner and you are going to be confronted with a short line (a good thing). As you wait, you will peruse an extremely large menu posted on the wall. And I mean huge. There are breakfast items served all day that range from huevos rancheros to egg filled burritos. There are some platters of various items that even include Americanized fare such as chimichanga. There are some most definitely authentic items, like menudo by the quart on weekends. The real stars, though, and where you want to concentrate your focus is the listing of tacos, burritos, and tortas. You will have time to study the board as you move toward the extremely efficient and friendly people who will take you order. And don't fret, there is a smaller version of the menu on the counter right in front of the registers.
• The "trick" to the menu items is that they are all built on a foundation of one of about seven types of meat. It's all fantastic. If you cannot fathom the concept of nose-to-tail eating, stick to carnitas (moist pulled pork), carne asada (grilled steak), adobada (marinated grilled pork), or chorizo (pork sausage). If you want awesome flavor and adventure try some lengua (tongue that is beefier and more tender than your granny's Sunday pot roast), tripa (tripe, a/k/a stomach lining- not for everyone), cabeza (beef from the head area- cheeks, temples), or chicharones (pork skin- pork rind taco).
• Tacos are a great way to experiment. They are maybe $2 each, so you can try several different flavors. The tacos are served on a couple warm, fresh, corn tortillas and topped with a little guacamole and onion. Fresh and bottled salsas and hot sauces are available.
• The burritos will blow you away. The burritos are in the $6-7 range. They will include one or more meats and may also include other ingredients like rice, beans, guacamole, onions, peppers, or nopales (cactus). (Special hint- find that one on the menu and try it. It's the bomb.) Be advised, these are not like the thigh-sized homage to Mission-style burritos chock full of rice and beans and studded by a few chunks of meat like you get at Qdoba or, ahem Chipotle. These are more like super-flavored meat logs. Oh, and I swear the tortillas are made in-house.
• Tortas are sandwiches. Like the tortillas, I swear the bread is house-made. So, you've got the meat foundation of your choice along with avocado, onion, lettuce, and some beans on a pillowy soft, warm and toasted in all the right spots bollio roll.
• Be careful with sides. Things like rice and beans are available and they look awesome. Orders of chips and salsa or chips and guacamole are available. The chips don't come out of a bag or a warming hopper in the corner. Nope, made to order. Super good. I recommend getting a side if you brought a friend to lunch, because if you order about $7 of food a piece (roughly three tacos, one burrito, or one torta each) you are not going to leave searching for a snack.
• Try the pickled carrots on the fresh salsa bar.
• No cerveza. As much as I would love a super ice-cold Tecate or Negro Modello to wash down these delicious treasures, it ain't happening. So, do the next best thing and get a nice, authentic, sugary drink like a Jarritos, a bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola made with cane sugar, or at least some Orange Crush out of the fountain.

Seriously, give Gilberto's a go. Take a friend. Try something new. You won't be sorry.