Saturday, July 11, 2015

The Perennial Problem of Poor Parenting in Public-- A Guest Post on Kids in Bars


Climbing summer temperatures means kid sporting events are in full swing. That's great if you are a young athlete. Unfortunately, it also means a strong uptick in kids in the local watering holes between and after games. In this post, the SSS addresses the stresses inflicted on the general public when mommy and daddy decide it's time to was the taste of sunscreen and sunflower seeds out of their mouths with a cold beverage as their kids run roughshod.

I like kids, primarily my own.  I like good food and good bars too.  But mixing good bars and kids is a toxic combination for the patron at the bar without kids.  

I don't know when the shift began, but I have noticed an uptick in the number of kids at a local bar - a place primarily for consuming adult beverages.  In the last two months, I have observed the following:

Parents bringing their kids to the bar, armed with lots of dollar bills to put into pool tables, dart machines and not-so-oriented to kids games like Beer Pong, Beerball or a Big Buck Hunter.  

The aforementioned kids, after using their dollars, generally run amuck- attempting to climb the dart machine,   crawling under the pool tables, playing hide and seek under the pool tables (and everywhere else where kids could hide).  In a bar.  A place where the patrons are there to enjoy an ADULT beverage - and not usually wanting to be around the antics of small children.   And the parents?  Well, they are enjoying their adult beverage and glued to their smart phones oblivious to their children running amuck. 

Some suggestions for bars and parents:

Do not allow kids.  McNallys and JL Beers follow this approach.  It makes them extra desirable to many people.  Remember the hyperbole that banning smoking was going to kill bar profits?  It hasn't happened.  Indeed, many people, like me, enjoy coming home and not reeking of smoke.  I propose a similar rule for kids.   Bars should be 21 only.  If you want your kids to eat dinner with you, go someplace that is not primarily a bar.   The government shouldn't have to regulate common sense.  

Only parents think their kids are cute.   Other bar patrons do not think it is cute when your kids are running around chasing each other or using their straws as water squirting devices. 

If you do want to go out to eat and consume a beer, go to Chuck-E- Cheese.  Beer is served there.  It was designed for kids to get sugared up and run amuck.   You don't like the food? Too bad. Or be THAT annoying person and take your kids to a bar and make other patrons miserable by your kids wanting to play Beer Pong while climbing on a bar stool to reach a dart stuck far above their reach. 

If a bar has sections, and you need to lift your kids up to sit on chairs on one side of the bar, that is the implied adults only side.   

Lastly, this should go without saying:   Lawn darts were changed because a family game involving children throwing sharp objects resulted in some kids being injured.   For the same reason, giving young children darts to throw at a machine is a bad idea.   Dart machines were not intended to be a substitute for a pitching cage.   Some kid is going to get his or her eye poked out by a dart and the parents bringing their kids to a bar will sue.   Unfortunately, the law is behind the times and there is no "parents are idiots defense." 

And, a shout out to bar servers.   Families who choose to patronize bars should be subject to a mandatory 30% gratuity.  Their kids cause twice the mess of adults, so they should be compensated accordingly.   And generally, the poor server has to keep track of separate checks at the adult table and keep track of whose kid is whose.  Sadly too many parents that think it is appropriate to bring their children to a bar do not think it is necessary to tip the server based on the extra work serving families involves.  

Bottom line:  the world would be a better place if kids and bars did not mix and parents had the common sense not to bring their kids to bars.  If parents must bring their little darlings, it would be nice if they would exercise the bare minimum of supervision and require their offspring to sit in the chair and play with an electronic device.  If they aren't willing to do that, for the love of God, go to Chuck-E-Cheese. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Pizza Rev or Fiero Pizza? Your Guide To Hipster Pie in Sioux Falls

So, it turns out that Wednesday, May 6, 2015 is International No Diet Day. Forking A! How can you beat that for timing, because I am jonesing for some pizza. And these days here in River City, pizza is the newest trend in fast casual dining. What's fast casual? Been to Qdoba, ahem Chipotle, or Panera lately? That's fast casual.

In terms of pizza, Red Rossa has been doing this concept justice for years. And I love Red Rossa. It's a great Neapolitan style pie.  Today, however, we are going to concentrate on the newest players on the scene: Pizza Rev and Fiero Pizza. (Footnote: I hope to write about Breadico's pizza in the near future. If it is half as good as the bread, it's going to be awesome. Unfortunately, Breadico's pizza times don't easily coincide with the Fork's hectic social calendar.)

At any rate, Pizza Rev and Fiero Pizza are what I refer to as hipster pie. It's the newest thing. And, the target audience is a 20-30 something that likes to customize his or her food choices from among an array of fresh, hopefully organic, ingredients. I didn't make that up. I read it in the Argus, so it has to be accurate.

Both of these places specialize in pizzas that are more or less a single serving. You process through a line, not unlike you would at a Pita Pit, Subway, or Qdoba to customize your pie. In both places, you start with a crust choice, then a sauce (tomato-based, olive oil, or a creamy alfredo sort of thing), then cheeses, then proteins (grilled chicken, various sausages, bacon), then vegetables and such (need I explain), followed by any last minute sprinkles of fresh herbs or dried spices. You pizza is then cooked while you pay and make a drink selection. You then go sit down, or play with your smart phone, and wait for a friendly staff member to hunt you down and deliver your tasty creation. I want to be very clear that both Pizza Rev and Fiero execute this formula very well. Good service experiences at both places. Fresh ingredients. Quality product.

But, they are also both very different and which you prefer probably depends on your own personal preferences. Here's my take on both.

Fiero Pizza is located downtown in the heart of Phillips Avenue. Food & Fermentation was once located in the same spot- right across from Stogies. Great location if you are downtown strolling about. Fiero is also totally locally owned. It's not part of a chain, so the owners are probably there when you are. The Fiero pie is oblong. The crust is most definitely hand-crafted and is cooked on a little conveyor oven that allows it to puff up and create bubbles and pockets. At Fiero, your choice of cheese is applied to the crust in slice form after exactly one ladle of sauce is applied to the crust. Each one of those slices is so thin, you could read 605 Magazine through it. If you want more cheese, prepare to flip out some more coin. The end product, absent extra cheese, is very tasty. It's warm and soft. If the ingredients don't go well together, that's on you because it was your idea to put whatever on there. Fiero must be doing something right because they managed a rookie win in Cory Myers' Food Falls annual bracket challenge.

Pizza Rev is a chain located on West 49th Street and is somewhat disguised in a bank building. Go google the address if you can't find the place across the street from Hy Vee and next to Pier One Imports. It's a chain. It's owned by Todd Porter, the guy behind the local Applebees, Carino's and Chevy's. (Todd probably isn't the guy making your pizza, by the way.) The Rev crust is round and it's undoubtedly a franchise formula. Each crust is pressed using a big machine that flattens a ball of dough into a nice round crust. I rather suspect the machine also applies some heat and slightly parbakes it. The cheese is grated and I've never seen a person be told they have reached their pre-designated allotment of cheese. The pie is then baked in a pizza oven on a stone floor. The end result is a round, crispy-crust pizza.

Warning. At either place if you decide to be that guy that sees how many toppings you can cram onto your pie so you feel like you have personally tipped the economic scales in your favor, you are going to have a major mess on your hands. Literally. As much as it pains me to say it, moderation and balance are key.

Personally, for me, Rev offers the correct coefficient of crust, sauce, and cheese, albeit in a more suburbany, chain-type of place. For me, these components are the soul of a pizza, and Rev is hitting them spot on. If you want downtown and locally home grown, and are willing to pay more for cheese, then Fiero is your place. Either way, the food life is good here in Sioux Falls and I can pretty much guarantee, come May 6, I'm at one of these places to celebrate International No Diet Day.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Get You Some Gilberto's

I've said it before. We are extremely lucky here in Sioux Falls to have ever increasing and diverse opportunities to enjoy an ever-expanding world of food and cultures. Today, I find myself compelled to share my thoughts on just one such place, the relatively-recently opened Gilberto's, on South Minnesota Ave.

Housed in the former location of Long John Silver's, and now painted a very bright yellow, Gilberto's is a 24-hour, non-stop parade of some of the best Mexican street food as you are likely to lay your hands on in our fair city. If you like fresh, authentic, hand crafted flavor, this is your place. If your idea of authentic Mexican is a burrito full of tater tots or tacos made out of Dorritos, well, you know where to go.

Gilberto's isn't doing anything you cannot find in other established eateries in Sioux Falls, they are just doing it extremely well, if not better, than others. You can get similar, awesome food, at places like Nikki's and a host of other places that I think frankly appear a little intimidating to a lot of pasty white Sioux Falls natives. And, I suppose Gilberto's may seem a little intimidating, as well, so here is what to expect when you go:


  • The parking situation SUCKS. There is one relatively narrow driveway off Minnesota Avenue that leads to an "L" shaped parking lot that sort of wraps around the back of the building. Some of the spots are in some places that are easier to get into than out of. Overall, probably very close to the utter inconvenience of the Eberts & Gerbert's parking lot on South Louise. Of, and when exiting during daylight hours, you probably realistically cannot turn left to go south, so don't even think about it.
  • The ordering situation looks a little funky. Go in the back entrance of the building. Step around the corner and you are going to be confronted with a short line (a good thing). As you wait, you will peruse an extremely large menu posted on the wall. And I mean huge. There are breakfast items served all day that range from huevos rancheros to egg filled burritos. There are some platters of various items that even include Americanized fare such as chimichanga. There are some most definitely authentic items, like menudo by the quart on weekends. The real stars, though, and where you want to concentrate your focus is the listing of tacos, burritos, and tortas. You will have time to study the board as you move toward the extremely efficient and friendly people who will take you order. And don't fret, there is a smaller version of the menu on the counter right in front of the registers.
  • The "trick" to the menu items is that they are all built on a foundation of one of about seven types of meat. It's all fantastic. If you cannot fathom the concept of nose-to-tail eating, stick to carnitas (moist pulled pork), carne asada (grilled steak), adobada (marinated grilled pork), or chorizo (pork sausage). If you want awesome flavor and adventure try some lengua (tongue that is beefier and more tender than your granny's Sunday pot roast), tripa (tripe, a/k/a stomach lining- not for everyone), cabeza (beef from the head area- cheeks, temples), or chicharones (pork skin- pork rind taco).
  • Tacos are a great way to experiment. They are maybe $2 each, so you can try several different flavors. The tacos are served on a couple warm, fresh, corn tortillas and topped with a little guacamole and onion. Fresh and bottled salsas and hot sauces are available.
  • The burritos will blow you away. The burritos are in the $6-7 range. They will include one or more meats and may also include other ingredients like rice, beans, guacamole, onions, peppers, or nopales (cactus). (Special hint- find that one on the menu and try it. It's the bomb.) Be advised, these are not like the thigh-sized homage to Mission-style burritos chock full of rice and beans and studded by a few chunks of meat like you get at Qdoba or, ahem Chipotle. These are more like super-flavored meat logs. Oh, and I swear the tortillas are made in-house.
  • Tortas are sandwiches. Like the tortillas, I swear the bread is house-made. So, you've got the meat foundation of your choice along with avocado, onion, lettuce, and some beans on a pillowy soft, warm and toasted in all the right spots bollio roll.
  • Be careful with sides. Things like rice and beans are available and they look awesome. Orders of chips and salsa or chips and guacamole are available. The chips don't come out of a bag or a warming hopper in the corner. Nope, made to order. Super good. I recommend getting a side if you brought a friend to lunch, because if you order about $7 of food a piece (roughly three tacos, one burrito, or one torta each) you are not going to leave searching for a snack.
  • Try the pickled carrots on the fresh salsa bar.
  • No cerveza. As much as I would love a super ice-cold Tecate or Negro Modello to wash down these delicious treasures, it ain't happening. So, do the next best thing and get a nice, authentic, sugary drink like a Jarritos, a bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola made with cane sugar, or at least some Orange Crush out of the fountain.
Seriously, give Gilberto's a go. Take a friend. Try something new. You won't be sorry.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Guest Post! SSS Sounds Alarm on New Spezia Menu and A Bad Salad Experience


Check this out!  The SSS has provided a special guest blog.  After previous good salad experiences at Spezia, a not so good one.  

I went to lunch with a friend at Spezia.  I chose Spezia specifically because I like their Mediterranean salad with chicken, artichokes, tomatoes, onions, pepperoncinis and kalamata olives.  It is delicious.

After a noticeably slow seating, we were given the menu.  It not only looked different, Spezia re-did their menu.   On the new menu, the Mediterranean chicken salad is gone.   I was alarmed.  The new menu now consists of four salads:   a beet and goat cheese salad, a pear and fennel salad, a pear and cranberry salad and a salad with bacon and tomatoes.   I personally do not like fruit with my salad.  So, my salad choices were down to the beet salad or the bacon and tomato salad.  Since I do not like beets, I really only had one choice.   Pay $7.50 for a salad that has tomatoes and bacon.   Or, if I wanted an “entrée” size salad, I would have to add an additional $2.00.   If I wanted to add chicken, add on another $3.00.   If I wanted to add salmon or shrimp to the uncreative bacon and tomato salad, that is an additional $7.50.    I refuse to pay $9.50 for a salad that just has bacon and tomatoes, let alone $17.00 for a salad that would have bacon, tomatoes and shrimp!

I surely am not alone in not liking beets or fruit with my salad.   When designing a menu, for people like me who want to have a salad for lunch that doesn’t include fruit or beets, the best they could do is some romaine with bacon and tomatoes?  Even the house salad at Olive Garden has more ingredients – and it is all you can eat for just $6.99 – which is less than the non-entrée size of the boring tomato and bacon salad at Spezia. 

The missing Mediterranean chicken salad was noticed by customers at the table next to us.   It also did not appear to be the first time that our waitress was asked about that salad.  She suggested ordering the Mediterranean chicken without the pasta and then mixing it with the house side salad.  I followed her suggestion because I really did want a salad.  They just didn’t have a salad that I would pay to eat.   That suggestion sort-of worked – but there wasn’t nearly enough lettuce.

At one time, Spezia used to have the most ingenious salad section.  They listed ingredients and customers could order a customized salad.   I was disappointed when they removed that option.   But, I still had the Mediterranean chicken salad.  Now that salad is gone and there literally is not a single salad that I would pay to eat at Spezia.   To say that I am disappointed is an understatement.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Quick Hit: Back Yard Grill BBQ

So, today it was Backyard Grill BBQ for lunch. Not bad. Here's the Quick Hit List. 

1.  Nice place. Decor is clean and neat. It's sort of a fast-casual set up where you order up front, get your food, and find a table. 

2.  Fast and friendly service. 

3.  Interesting menu choices. The menu includes BBQ staples like ribs and pulled pork. It also has a fish choice, smoked chicken, and smoked chicken wings. There is also a nice variety of sides like molasses beans, potato salad, macaroni salad, mac & cheese, slaw, and fries. 

4.  Prices are reasonable. 

5.  Food. Not bad, but not great. Between all members of our staff, we had a pretty good sample of the menu. The pulled pork had great pork flavor, but lacked bark and didn't seem to have a lot of smoke or rub flavor. The brisket was tender, so much so in fact that there were no slices. It was more like pot roast sandwich and also lacked smoke and the zing of a rub. My guess is these cuts are getting ample time in foil on the smoker. 

The ribs were intriguing. Served naked, they were tender and a sprinkling of rub prior to service jacked up the zing factor. 

Bottom line: nice effort and a nice place. Not crazy about the pulled pork or brisket, but our staff will return to try the wings and main line some ribs. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

I don't like the looks of this. At all.


Very troublesome. Very. 

Going Green: Some of Our Favorite Salads

If you find yourself out sampling burgers and chicken wings with any degree of frequency, you probably should consider a salad every now and then.  Some salads are kind of good for you, and if nothing else, you feel a bit better about yourself for having one.  Fortunately, there are some good options out there that go well beyond shredded iceberg blend out of a bag, a little dry yellow cheese, three croutons, and a side of ranch dressing in a small plastic container with the date written on the lid.

Here are some salads we have been enjoying of late.

As much as I prefer to shy away from chain joints, Chevy's has a pretty delicious salad offering.  (That's singular on purpose.)  There are two salads on the menu that look pretty tempting: a Sizzling Fajita Salad and the Santa Fe Chopped Salad.  The Sizzling Fajita Salad sounds better than it really is.  No, the salad you want is the Santa Fe Chopped.  Icy cold greens with the other ingredients consisting of avocado slices, blue cheese, grilled chicken, roasted red peppers, grilled corn, and smoky bacon composed on the top.  Get the apple chipotle vinaigrette dressing, which hits good notes of smoky, sour, spicy, and sweet just right.

Minerva's flagship location at 11th and Phillips generally has some very nice salads on the menu.  No, I don't mean the salad bar.  Yes, it's good, but by the time I eat about a half pound of the cheese spread, two cups of the tomato basil soup, a dozen of the pickled cippolini onions, pickled herring, and some actual vegetables, I should have just had a steak.  I think the best salad is the cranberry pear salad which features greens, sliced red onion, dried cranberries, spiced pecans, and gorgonzola on a bed of spinach. It's dressed with a cranberry vinaigrette.  You can get it with grilled chicken or salmon.  I strongly recommend the chicken.  (I'll get to that in a second . . .)  The other tempting salad is the salmon asparagus salad.  I personally avoid salmon at Minerva's because they insist on using Atlantic salmon- probably for cost issues.  Atlantic salmon is food code for "farm raised."  If you knew how fish is farmed, you wouldn't touch the stuff.  It's bad for the environment and it makes for fish that has undertones of the food pellets that the fish consume.  (Next time you are at a fish hatchery and you buy some pellets to feed the fish, smell them, if you think I am off my place setting on this one.)  Stick with wild Alaskan salmon and you'll never go wrong.

Back to salad.

Josiah's has some good salads.  One of my personal favorites is the quinoa with black rice.  Yes, those two ingredients, obviously, with baby arugula and a lemony vinaigrette dressing.  The grains are chewy and earthy which plays off the bitter greens.  This salad is like spa food.  You'll feel better about yourself for eating it, and perhaps even inspired to do something to make the world a better place.  Maybe that's what owner and political rabble-rouser Steve Hildebrand had in mind.  Fox News should look into that.  On a side note, Shonna Haugen is now at Josiah's.  Look for neat new things this spring and summer.

Spezia is a good spot for a salad.  Actually, I am a sucker for their specials which vary with the season. This last fall/winter, Spezia had a salad that featured some roasted beets, roasted cauliflower, and a creamy herby dressing.  Don't go run out the door.  It's gone now.  Fortunately, Spezia has other salads that feature similar ingredients, especially roasted beets.  For lunch, I like the grilled chicken salad.  Nice greens with a grilled chicken breast and a balsamic dressing.  Otherwise, expect what you could also get at Minerva's.  They may not be part of the same group, but the menu crossover is a fun discussion topic.

Speaking of Spezia, the one salad I like at Bracco, is the seared ahi salad.  Nice seared tuna, greens and dressings with zingy Asian components- mustard and soy and wasabi.  Unfortunately, Bracco finances its mortgage payments off this menu item along with the fish tacos.  I swear the price of those items has shot up faster than the S&P 500.

The Attic has a couple of super good salads.  Notably, the Southwest Chicken Salad.  Pretty basic greens, but also featuring grilled corn, bell peppers, cheese, black beans, and a nice spicy grilled chicken breast.  Try it with the creamy avocado ranch or chipotle ranch dressing.  The other great salad is the Black and Blue which features a perfectly-sized portion of sirloin cooked to your desired doneness and greens with blue cheese crumbles, bell pepper, and a few tangy pepperocini peppers stashed in there.  Avoid the buffalo chicken salad which is an attempt to marry salad to spicy chicken wings.  It's doesn't work.  Sorry, Attic.

One other salad option is worthy of mention.  Hy Vee.  Yup, Hy Vee, the local big box grocer that I love to hate and hate to love.  Our local Hy Vee stores feature salad bars where you can grab a plate or a to-go container and commence to filling that sucker up with a variety of greens, vegetables, proteins like sliced ham or turkey, hard boiled eggs, and top it all off with some dressing.  Some of the bigger, more hip stores, have pre-made DeLuso salad concoctions, as well as condiments that would allow one to make a taco salad.  Two words of warning at Hy Vee: (1) if you are trying to be healthy watch your toppings and dressing choices and (2) watch how much you have on the plate because that salad bar is sold by the pound, and you can easily manage to compose a salad that will cost more than any of the options above.

If there is another great salad that we have overlooked, please let us know so our ace staff can get out there and check it out.