Food Network Does The Impossible: I Actually Miss Emeril

There was a time when you could watch the Food Network and watch very accomplished chefs demonstrate some great dishes. I'm not talking about Bobby Flay, or episodes of American Iron Chef, I mean chefs like Sara Moulton, Mario Batali, and, even if you could stay awake long enough, old episodes of Julia Childs' The French Chef. Even Emeril Lagasse, who was on waaay too many times each day BAMMING his way through menus was cooking was cooking things.

Now, the programming seems to be dominated by too many "reality" sorts of shows like The Next Iron Chef and Chopped (both of which seem mostly to be Top Chef knock-offs) or shows about places, like DDD.

Okay, maybe there are some cooking shows, but they mostly seem staffed by people who won the opportunity to host shows, or people with swell cleavage (Giada) or perky people (Rachel Ray) or drunk bimbos (Sandra Lee). I want to see something interesting, as far as real cooking goes. Cleavage is nice and all, but there are other channels for that. I know Food Network must realize there is an issue, because there is now a Cooking Channel.

Anyway. What killed me, literally, was the other night I was watching a show called "Guy, Off The Hook." Ok. It's Guy Fierri, same guy from DDD and Guy's Big Bite. Pretty sure this "Guy" was the first "Next Food Network Star." You would have SWORN you were watching a blonde, spiky Emeril working the crowd. And he really wasn't cooking anything interesting.

When Emeril became a caricature, the Food Network tosses him over the rail. Now they got Guy Fierri becoming equally, if not more, annoying. When will poor Guy sleep with the fishes?

So, like I said, I finally miss Emeril. That means I REALLY miss Mario. Molto.